#Addyson Shepard

[citadelsushi]

Reave

This idea has been rattling around in my brain the last couple days and I needed to get it out. A future part of Mind Over Matter, a canon-divergent AU.

It happened so fast. Too fast for him to react. Too fast for him to stop it before it was too late.

She had been so confident.

“My barriers are solid.”

She had been so persistent.

“If you want to try this, we're doing it.”

She always was.

He should have known better.

“Doctor Chakwas!” He couldn't stop the panic from flooding his voice.

Troubled green eyes scanned him, took in the sight of Shepard cradled against his chest, limp and heavy in his arms.

“Set her down there.” Decades of experience kept the doctor calm, but Kaidan could see the question in her eyes.

He set her down slowly, reluctant to let her go, sure that if he did he would only hurt her more somehow. An emptiness settled in his chest, cold from the loss of contact, tight with fear.

“We were training,” an explanation tumbled from his lips, his voice shaky “she – I wanted to try...”

Chakwas' omni-tool scanned over her.

Kaidan couldn't tear his eyes from Shepard; a tranquil expression befell her porcelain features, as if she were simply sleeping. As if he hadn't done this to her.

As if just moments ago she hadn't been cloaked in swirling tendrils of violet, doubled over as the vortex of energy attacked her nervous system. As if the attack hadn't immobilized her, forcing her upright and rigid, trapped and helpless as his biotics continued to leech her energy. As if she hadn't collapsed to the floor in a heap, unconscious yet spasming in pain. As if he hadn't had to gather her from the ground, scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the med bay.

“This was your doing?”

If he were able to look away from Shepard, he would have hung his head in shame.

“She was helping me learn to reave.”

No response. For what felt like ages, the silence stretched on.

Kaidan was frozen; he couldn't move. He wouldn't. Chakwas worked around him, injecting medi-gel, scanning Shepard, injecting more medi-gel, scanning again.

Finally, an answer.

“She is going to be fine, Lieutenant Alenko.”

Kaidan cringed at the formality, akin to his mother using his middle name.

“Although I suspect an apology will be in order. I'll leave you to it.”

Med bay doors hissed shut behind the doctor.

Kaidan found a stool behind him, pulled it alongside the cot where Shepard lay. His hands enveloped one of hers.

She was cool to the touch, clammy. The usual rosy tint to her cheeks had vanished. Beads of sweat appeared like dew across her brow. Rogue strands of hair clung to her forehead.

His eyes fell shut and he dropped his head.

How could I be so careless?

A twitch of a fingertip in his hand alerted him. Kaidan's eyes sprung open in time to watch Shepard's eyelids flutter, then slowly, so painstakingly slowly, they opened.

“Shepard?” Her name was a whisper on his lips. His hands squeezed hers.

Her head rolled to the side, a small, lazy smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “Hey, Kaidan.”

He felt her hand tighten around his own. Her grip was weak, but it was enough.

“Guess you figured out how to reave, huh?”

Her smile barely reached her eyes before her lids fell heavily over the pools of forest green.

It wasn't until that moment that Kaidan realized he had been holding his breath.

“Addyson, I'm so sorry. I never – ”

Shepard's other hand raised in the air. “Don't.”

Her eyes opened again, clearer, brighter than before. The color was returning to her face.

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief, removed his hand from atop hers and brought it to her face. Slowly, delicately, he brushed the sweat-slicked strands of hair from her forehead. He brushed his hand through long copper locks. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Shepard caught his hand in hers, brought it to her lips, placed a kiss to the back of his hand and held it tight against her chest.

He spoke quietly, “I never want to do that again. What I did to you...I won't. I am sorry, Addyson.”

“Kaidan, I'm fine.” Her fingers wrapped tighter around his palm. “You just reaved.”

Determination gleamed in her eyes. The same almost feline ferocity he had come to know as commonplace had returned. And something else, something new. Admiration.

“Do you know how damn impressive that is?” Again she pressed her lips to the back of his hand, lingering. “You don't have to use it on me again, but the day will come that you'll want to use it on someone else.”

Kaidan shifted in his seat. Images of Shepard afflicted by the attack churned his stomach. Feeling the energy leave her body to feed his made his skin crawl. But she was right; an annoying habit of hers.

“I know.”

He wished he wouldn't have to. He wished they didn't have to prepare for a war like this. He wished he hadn't asked her to help him, that he hadn't hurt her.

Kaidan captured her hand and copied her actions, bringing her hand to his lips. His lips pressed against the back of her hand, his eyes closing briefly.

He wished he could keep her safe. He wished he could promise her a happy ending.

But he knew the odds of a happy ending for either of them were slim. He suspected she did too.

[hottytoddynews]

HottyToddy.com would like to congratulate everyone who made the Honor Roll and Dean’s List this first nine weeks of the school year.

Della Davidson Elementary School Honor Roll – First Quarter 2017-2018

Principal’s List (All A’s) Abraham, Luke Elias Adams, Catherine Archer Adams, Indaniya A’myani Albadry, Malak Mohamed Alderson, Michael Rel Alford IV, John Warner Allen, Hardy Vinson Amidon, Annabelle Kristin Anderson, Chloe Ryan Baeshen, Norah Ruth Beard, Bradley William Belk, Rylee Erin Bell, Valerie Denise Blackburn, Collins Brantley Blackwood, Donald James Bodie, Eden Brooks Bouldin, William Maxwell Bowling, Poppy Katherine Bragg, John Lawson Brasell, Thomas Murry Burkes, Avery Jane Burlaka, Anna Campbell, James Bryan Carlisle, Dylan Cerny Carr, Sophie Anne Chambers, Chi Tianna Tameko Chavis, Ruby Maude Chen, Winnie Clark, Hudson Truett Colby, Andrew David Collums, Paisley Isabelle Cooper, Adam Michael Cormack, Madison Leigh Cowgill, Benjamin Garrett Curry, Nilydia Nicole Dale, Lake Reed Denevan, Brody Patrick Edlin, Lydia Catherine Embry, Mamie Caldwell Farese, Alexa Perry Feltenstein, Liza Kimbrell Ferguson, Jordyn Armani Fortyz, Xander Bryce Franks, Addison Elise Fruge’, Benjamin Guy Gandhi, Sanya Manish Gary, Walker Edmond Giles, Harris Fisher Gray, Sadie Alan Green, Mary Bea Greene, Isabel Faye Hale, Mary Elena Hall, Hayden Zackery Hamilton, Judson Silas Hill, Jordan Amir Hipp, Abigail Laura Houston, Zaria Mau’Ja Hyneman, Howard Povall James, Calvin Larry Jang, Jun Jones, Eleanor Claire Jones, Molly Caroline Jones, Sawyer Reed Kariuki, Claire Ng’endo Kava, Luseane Keskin, Adem Keskin, Sibel Elizabeth King, Eleanor Anne Knef, Ava Grace Knight, Evan Dewayne Koestler, Andrew Preston Kosko, Garrett Alexander Kovachev, Martin Evgeni Laporte, Kenton James Lauzon, Kimberly Madison Levy, Lillian Vera Lewis, Julia Slade Lowery, Ellie McCay Luber, Charlotte Allen Lynch, Breannah Danielle Lynn, Tate Alden Mason, Katherine Mims McGinness, Alexandria Eve McLellan, Elizabeth Rose Meyer, Logan Charles Milton, Henry Tucker Moore, Andrew Taygen Moore, Russell Paul Morales-Romero, Brittany Michelle Morgan, D’Nijha Danielle Morris, Wyatt Bryan Myers, Carter Lewis Nemesek, Jackson James Nichols, Kelling Elizabeth Nordstrom, Katherine Crenshaw Odom, Streater Bliss Oliver, Leecie Bella Overby, Hogan Ryan Oyler, Henry Chadwick Pan, Raymond Park, Jinseo Patel, Rishi Rakesh Payne, Peyton Rowe Pegues, Madison Renae Percy, Phinizy Davis Percy, William Strong Perry, Anna Reed Pettis, Jerkeria Amyai Phillips, Preston David Putt, Harrison Gage Rainey, Elijah Edward Rajesh, Saishri Reeder, Ella Grace Reynolds, Madison Nicole Rhodes, Mary Helen Roane, Kathryn Annette Robbins, Michael Anderson Roberson, Ann Lillian Robinson, James Barrett Robinson, Rachel Lynn Rogers, Chanijah Makaila Santiago, Krizhan Wynn Tubale Schuesselin, Nancy Elaine Shaw, Zoe Elizabeth Shelton, John Mack Sherman, Gracie Jackson Sherman, Olivia Cate Shinall, Trevor Dean Shipman, Samuel Aylon Sisk, Trinity Ja’Kiya Smith, Anna Prescott Smith, Collier Elizabeth Smith, JoAnna Maize Smith, Zander Kade Snider, Kylie Anne Stein, Michael Anthony Mack Steinriede, Eleanor Catherine Still, Michael Banks Sullivan, William Russell Tatum, Cohen Hux Thompson, William Wright Toms, Pearce Pegram Tosh, Amanda Claire Trout, Davis Walker Turner, James Talmadge Turner, Sullivan Catledge Urbanek, Evan Harper Van Every, Thaxton Delane Vaughan, Graham Thomas Vega, Isabella Leigh Vincent, Ari Levi Wadlington, Keirra Lynn Waldrop, Cameron Lee Waldrop, Elise Ann Waller, Andrew Hinton Warrington, John Patrick Weaver, Dorian Jacob White, John Wilson Wigginton, Aubrey Mae Wiley, Lorelei Kathryn Wilfawn, Claire Kamryn Wilkes, Alice Gardner Williams, Ellen Kate Wilson, Loughran Samantha Woo, Yewon Youngblood, Cameron Layne Zinn, Dequan Montez

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Oxford Intermediate School Honor Roll – First Quarter 2017-2018

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Teacher’s List (All A’s & B’s) Abbott, Carolyn Rose Al-Ostaz, Mohannad Ahmed Allen, Walker Harrison Almutairi, Hanin Anderson, Jakeria Anderson, Seger Cappaert Anjanappa, Saurab S Aquino, Zaiden Allen Arnold, Bailey Reighn Atkinson, Landon Kyle Austin, Mariam Catherine Avery, Kanalu Olamana Baddour, Paul Marion Balkin, Gabriela Analise Banks, Cam’Ron Barry, Brooke Padgitt Barton, Katherine Louise Bass, James Tanner Bean, Z’nyla Amor Belenchia, Natalie Paige Benedict, Anna Lauren Bishop, Margaret Ann Blackwelder, Jagger Anthony Blair, Natalie Elizabeth Blount, Levi Daniel Bombelli, Nicholas Boyas, William Joaquin Brasell, Jane Saxon Brown, Madison Ann Buford, Julian Burleson, Dixie Katherine Burns, Hunter Kylen Busby, Jack Garland Busby, Mary Caroline Buschlen, Keaton Vaughn Buzareiba, Raghad Omran Caldwell, Jordan Austin Campbell, A’Yhuna Nakeyia Carmean, Evelyn Rose Carmean, Jane Reeves Carrington, Glenn Elizabeth Carter, Callie Grace Case, Olivia Linton Castillo-Tabora, Genesis Causey, Jacquelynne Jeanne Edith Certion, M’Layjah Jovian Cerveny, Andrew David Coleman, Nadia Bethanie Cope, John Grayson Cormack, Kennedy Reese Cottom, Leiaidra Mi’Joi Crocker, Timothy Ezekiel Dale, Madelyn Sophia Daniels, Annika Marie Davis, Madison Rihanna Doner, Emileigh Grace Dowling, Larkin Bernini Dudley, Jeremiah Lajordan Ealey, So’Nia Carrie Christine East, Michael Ann Eastland, Hiram C Espinoza, Jayda Sophia Estes, Wesley Brett Farmer, Marjorie Elizabeth Fassinger, Kaden Chase Felix, Matthew Ripken Finner, Christopher A J Flaschka, Max Russell Wolf Flaschka, Mollie Blair Ford, Christopher Ezekiel Fowler, Kathryn Presley Franklin, Thomas Gerald Freeman, Wyatte Holden Fuller, Kardesia Janae’ Gaia, John Wallace Gandhi, Syna Manish Gillis, Lindsey Elizabeth Glenn, Raven Tarrell Dee Green, Ladaejah Jeriah Grem, William Miles Gussow, Shaun David Hamilton, Emma Kathleen Haralson, Hannah Lynn Harrington, Chloe Marie Hazlewood, Margaret Elaine Henderson, Evelyn Lynn Herrera, Alexander Santiago Herron, Kentravion Temelle Hilliard, Akevia Leigh-Ann Hilliard, Ryan Glenn Hillmer, Cailey Nicole Hobson, Breuna Cheri Hodges, Makyah Zaire Horton, Auriana Hyche, Avery Lynn Ibrahim, Zeyad Mohamed Ali Jackson, Elise Ann Jernigan, Patricia Bell Joyce, Colby Richard Jubera, Robert Judson, Braylen Terrell Kamman, Barrett Denton Kelley, Madelyn Kent, Reid Andrew Kimbrell, Elizabeth Rivers Knef, Andrew H Knight, Colton Gray Kosko, Bailey Mullins Landry-Rahaim, Rose Latimer, Sarah Ross Le, Kevin Lewis, Avery Pierce Lewis, Elaina Renee Lewis, Jon Allen Lewis, Samuel Wallace Lovorn, Rowan Elliott Lowe, Jane Claire Martin, Colton Andrew Martins, Pedro Machado May, Olivia Helen Mayo, Cait Frances Mayoral, Braden John McCarty, Tamiyiah MoShay McCollins, Zuri Ayana McCullen, Laura Kathleen McCurdy, Sean Thomas McDaniel, Aden Gregory McElroy, Mattie Elizabeth McMillian, Javien Malachi Mercier, Georgia Rose Metcalf, Zoe Abigail Miller, Ana Mitchell, Ameir Mercedes Montgomery, Elizabeth Stewart Moreton, Anders Morgan, Houston Rivers Morgan, Michaela Lynn Mott, William Ross Munoz-Pascacio, Nathalie Nautiyal, Rishi Ndaruhutse, Boaz Tonto Nichols, William Ray Nordstrom, William Davis Norman, Robert Harrell O’Dowd, Brendan Charles Osborne, Annelise Taylor Parker, Elijah Parsons, Madelyn Yahel Pascacio, Joshten Raul Patton, Nyla Danielle Perkins, Anna Claire Pharr, Luke Benjamin Pruitt, Parker Jude Randle, Ethan Monroe Ray, Layton Ramsey Reed, Virginia Lynn Richards, Benjamin Graham Richards, Elijah Davis Rico, Anna Beatrix Rico, Patrick Finlay Robertson, Rivers Burton Robinson, Chance Robinson, Lillian Grayson Roy, Sam Morgan Samaniego, Alexa Itsallana Saxton, Andrew Martin Schardan, Julian Schock, Landon David Schwaegerl, Lena Charlotte Schweigart, Brenleigh Paige Scott, Nicholas Dane Scruggs, Sydney Kathryn Shoaf, Abby Elliston Sipes, Brooks Sipps, Annabelle Grace Smith, Emaleigh Sosa Rodriguez, Franklin Speed, John Thomas Strum, Madison Grace Swingle, Jack Manning Tallie, Kamayia Tallie, Keon’Taye Da’Shan Tatum, Carlisle Emery Taylor, Avaleigh Renee Taylor, Sovient Zantrell Thigpen, Alicia Renee Thomas, Amelia Walker Toles, Noah Elex Tompkins, Lillie Lizabeth Toney, Deriah Elizabeth Treloar, Davis Alexander Tyson, Tara Nicole Urbina, Natalia Elena Ussery, Reed Fowler Valliant, Rebeka Claire Vaughn, Brinnan Jaynes Vaughn, Makinly Grace Wadley, Amari Latrice Wadley, JaMarion Martavis Weathersbee, Mary Carolyn Elizabeth Webb, Elizabeth Riggan White, Kierstan Marcia Wicker, Bryce Chapin Wiley, Violet Nicole Wilkins, Stella Kathryn Wilkinson, Katherine Owen Wishon, Dylan Lee Wymer, Abraham Young, Kasiyah Kevionna Youngblood, Olivia Ashlyn Zachos, Lucian

Oxford Middle School Honor Roll – First Quarter 2017-2018

Principal’s List (All A’s) Abernathy, Sallie Virginia Addy, Aiden Lamar Alluri, Ajay Varma Amidon, Noah Jared Atchley, Andrew Crawford Austin, Katherine Grace Baggett, Kanesha Latrice Ball, Braden Matthew Barksdale, Brianna Denise Barrett, Lealand Gracie Barrios, Emory Caperton Beauchamp, Mattie Hanks Berry, William Wells Bianco, Catherine Louise Bigham, Brock Thurman Blair, Lydia Helen Bland, Hudson Lawrence Boudreaux, Claire Brewer, Joshua Alexander Brown, Jonathan Campbell, William Hayden Caradine, Miles Milton Emett Carter, Elijah Guy Carter, Joseph Andrew Case, Audrey Davis Cassisa, Carolina Grace Clark, Lacey Katherine Clinton, Nora Dean Cook, Madeline Ellsworth Cooper, Ciara Jo Crawley, Carsyn Swayzie Dabbs, Walker Pace Daniels, Dorothy Grace Davis, Farryn Kennedy Dennis, Julia McQueen Devera, Rowan Hayes Douglas, Faith Ann Dyminski, Thomas Randall Farmer, Sadie Grace Fruge’, Rosemary Katherine Giles, Lucian Witherspoon Goulding, Aidan S. Green, Henry Hasselman Greene, Amelia Lea Greer, Allison Reed Habeeb, Reagan Leigh Harper, Hannah Heard, Kaitlyn Paige Heuer, Everett Bowen Hill, John Bailey Hunt, Addison Marleigh Johnson, Josianna Elizabeth Kang, Mina Karthikeyan, Keerthin Kendricks, John Scott Knight, Ethan Tyler Latil, Jacob Walker Le, Johnson Le, Thu Anh Lewis, Louise Anne Ligon, Charles Thomas Little, Rosemary Elizabeth Love IV, John Clark Maryam, Numa Mathis, Kaylin Jennae Maxwell, James Donald McClure, Jeffrey Williams Miller, Saylie Parker Monteith, Savannah Isabel Bel Moore, Sarah Grace Murphy, Patrick Francis Newsom, William Luke Nordstrom, Benjamin Eli Ormon, Ava Kathryn Patel, Aidan Rakeah Perry, John West Purdom, Kara Elizabeth Ratliff, Charleston Edward Rayburn, Cecilia Reed, Vanessa Nicha Reysen, Ember Noelle Rhodes, Katelin Faith Roberson, Riley Elizabeth Robinson, Grant Wilson Rock, Cassidy Nicole Rubenstein, Zoe Elizabeth Sawyer, MacKenzie Lee Sawyer, Madison Nicole Schmelzer, Callie Grace Sharp, Chloe Anne Shelton, Emma Sanders Shipley, Savannah Harlow Shorter, Ashten Dean Smith, Stratton Holt Steinriede, Anne Walcott Stevens, Heath Michael Stewart, Olivia Ellen Sullivan, Aidan Thomas Sweeney, Connor Patrick Swingle, Molly Caroline Thompson, Ella McKinley Tosh, Ella Kathryn Trujillo, Aaron Michael Valdez, Xavier Edgar Wages, Caroline Grayson Walker, Anna Caroline Warrington, James Davis Weathersbee, Jeremiah Davis White, Avery Hannah Wicker, Sarah Grace Wigginton, Luke Lafayette Wilkinson, John Franklin Hassell Windham, William Thomas Woo, Nathan Kyoungseo Yant, Jane Isabella Zhang, Luke Xi

Teacher’s List (All A’s & B’s) Alexander, Zakeri Alan Alger, Anna Aloia, Jonah Grayson Anderson, James Wilder Arizaga, Genoveva Grace Armstrong, Aubrey Laine Austin, Brooks Crockett Baeshen, Andrew Hesham Bailey, Ramey Elliott Barnett, Evelyn Eliot Barton, Grace Anne Beebe, John Robert Belk, Aiden James Bell, Diamond Kierra Bergeron, Molly Merritt Best, Lauren Elizabeth Bial IV, Joseph John Bishop, Steven Matthew Blaylock, Evelyn Isabella Blount, Hope Davidson Bogan, Ticyana Anecia Renay Booker, Kirsten Ja’Derria Bowling, Adam Miller Brazell, Jessica Paige Brewer, Kaitlyn Emma Bruce, Norah Mary Jane Buchanan, Joseph Thomas Burkes, Anna Sophia Burkes, Delaney Grace Busby, Hattie Elizabeth Buschlen, Ethan Gareth Bush, Levi Matthew Byars, Charles Randolph Cabello, Michael Caldwell, Kalvia O’Nealvea Caldwell, Sparkle Ariel Campbell, Alysia Michelle Carothers, Sharenity Lynn Carwile, William Westmoreland Case, Mary McLauren Childers, Eva Ruth Contractor, Ria Zaksis Cooper, Noah Emmanuel Cope, Aiden Saliba Crane, John Spencer Crowe, Ellen Emerson Dabney, Thompson Daugherty, Amelie Parker Dennis, Ivy Suzanne Dennis, Jackson William Dorrell, Colin Semmes Downing, Stephen Matthew Dunaway, Drue Alexis Elliott, William M Ellis, William Vaiden Enfinger, Jena Brooke Fair, Virginia Ross Brown Fiveash, Jayda Grace Floate, Aidan Mark Freeman, Grace Kennedy Freeman, Samari Shani Fyke, Lola Carter Gaia, Madeleine Barnett Gililland, Joshua Alan Grantham, Robert Sharp Hanbury, Lauren Elizabeth Hardy, Julia Brent Harvey, Michael David Helsel, Mia Claire Hemmins, Jude Owen Henderson, Isabel Morrow Hewitt, Mary Alexandra Hickey, Morgan Hill, Anna Louise Ho, Jennifer Hodge, Claire Elise Hood, Catelin Grace Houston, Audria Aerial Huggins, Lylian Douglas Hunter, Sara Grace Hyneman, Henry Lewis Jacob, Katherine Elizabeth Jo, Samuel Hwanhee Johnson, Luke Daniel Jones, Averie Taylor Kincaid, David William Kirkwood, Ryan Tray’Shawn Langley, Avery Marie Lewis, William Goodloe Lipsey, JaMichael Takyland Logan, Vincent Chase Lowery, Charles Gavin Lynch, Robert Michael Madkins, Sariah Monyae May, Sarah Lynlee McGinness, Arkady Walker McInnis, Taylor McKey, Jude McMillan, Andersen Elizabeth Mercier, Audrey Elizabeth Metts, Linley Ann-Marie Mims, Allyson Rhea Mitchell, Makalah Renea Montgomery, Joel David Moore, Hayden Tyler Moore, Kallie McKade Morarie, Veronica Magdalena Morse, Allie Lynn Mott, Tacie Jane Mullen, Bryce Owen Murphey, Archer Smith Murphey, Webb Smith Norphlet, Elijah JaQuon O’Dowd, Davis Winton Owens, Laila Arquel Pasco-Pranger, Asa James Patterson, Michael Elias Perry, Ada Grace Pettis, Keanna Ne’veah Ponder, Michael Stratton Porcha, Quincy Allen Porter, Sania Loronz Portera, Owen Samuel Radigan, Luke Thomas Regan, Natalie Grace Renfroe, Land Harris Rhodes, William Lawton Riddell, Ellis Walker Robertson, Lane Brice Rogers, Currie Benton Rousseau, Helen Reed Rowland, Margaret Herron Rucker, Tyler JaJuan Russell, Drake Alan Saenz-Lopez, Darlyn Karina Sanchez-Garcia, Carlos Sanders, Blake Lee Savage, Michael Baylor Schneider, Emery Kathryn Schove, John Stanley Seicshnaydre, Elizabeth Lee Sharp, Aaron Shipman, Bella Scott Short, Ethan Andrew Shows, Cashe Newell Shows, Ross Alan Shull, Charles Wallace Singletary, Matthew Ray Skipworth, Tyler Wesley Smith, Alexis Grace Smith, Chaffin Elizabeth Smith, L’Asia Shekendrea Smith, Larrmyne Colton Spears Smith, Lewis Wynne Smith, Zaria Tyanna Solomon, Ross Whitlow Stallings, James Kyle Stewart, Christian Hope Turner, John Preston Vaughn, Jakira Sharda Vaughn, Leona Abigale Waddell, Olivia Ann Webb, Dixon Thomas Webb, Wesley Whitaker, Martha Sutton JiLu Wicker, Addie Elise Wicker, Luke McNabb Wicker, Tyler Kent Wilfawn, Keegan Douglas Wilkinson, Mary Katherine Suzette Winters, Taylor Woodfin, Aiden Scott Yerger, Harlan Yoste, John Geraghty

Oxford High School Honor Roll – First Quarter 2017-2018

Principal’s List (All A’s) Abernathy, Frances Hazie Addy, Alaina Kathleen Al-Ostaz, Nadeen Ahmed Al-Sherri, Zynub A. Atchley, Abigail Taylor Austin, Lillian Rose Baker, Ellyn Elizabeth Bartholomew, Gretchen Case Beard, Ashley Paige Bial, Lauren Frances Boudreaux, Christian Thomas Boutwell, Allie Kathryn Buchanan, Niamke Conner Bundren, Megan Leigh Burcham, Abagail Elizabeth Buskes, Anneke Lee Jing Qiu Callicutt, William Houston Chatman, Raven Nichelle Cheng, Calendula Yunong Cizdziel, Claire Theresa Cizdziel, Siena Catherine Cohen, Ross Gabriel Coon, Walker Thomas Crawley, John-Russell Cooper Cromwell, Clay Hollingsworth Crouch, Carter Fox Deese, David Henry Doerksen, Edmund Siwei Duperier, Alfred Wortham Elgohry, Marawan Moustafa Farese, Ellis Kilbourne Forgette, Anna Kathryn Freeze, Jordan McKenzie Fruge’, Don Luis Gershon, Eve Miranda Golmon, Graham Truett Goulet, Gabrielle E Goulet, Nicole Mayan Grafton, Addison Hibbs Green, Johnson McCallum Greene, Mary Emma Heiskell, Lucia Lamar Hemmins, Lilian Carroll Ho, Vivian Thuy Hu, Edward Yang Johnson, Walter Warren Jones, Emma Katherine Jones, Grace Anne Kendricks, Mary Charles Larson, Anna Mathis Li, Qing Yun Ligon, John Allen Livingston, Magnolia B Lizotte, George Britson Logan, Grace Nicole Luber, Kurre Thomas Luke, Cayden Angela Mallette, Pope Dolby Maxwell, Ellinor Minhinnette McEachern, Lorie Jordan McIntosh, Ann Caroline McKey, James Keith McKey, Mia Maureen McPhail, Joshua Robert Meagher, John Micheal Mercier, Marcus Karl Mercier, Mary Isabella Metcalf, Zkyra Monique Meyers, Gillian Elizabeth Mills, Addison Marie Mitchell, Lilian Camille Mobley, Alexander James Moen, Rebekah Hannah Mounce, Abigail Lauren Mullen, Sarah Neely Nagle, Alexandra M Nelson, Lauren Anada Renee Norman, Neal Garner Norris, Joseph Landon O’Keefe, Daniel Ryan O’Keefe, Joseph Thomas Overby, Haeden Ryan Pasco-Pranger, Sadie Charlotte Patel, Karina Rakesh Patel, Suhani Ashok Patterson, George Alexander Pearson, Claire Love Pham-Dao, Albert Phu Pham, Tu Nha Anna Pittman, Cady Grace Quinn, Sophia Adams Randall, Hannah Elizabeth Ratliff, Sarah Ann Renfroe, Anna Lauren Rester, Ann Claire Rester, Sydney Ruth Riley, Katherine Cook Robinson, Joseph Daniel Rock, Katelyn Virginia Rogers, Donald Forrest Roland, Virginia Olivia Roth, Hays Spicer Shelton, Samuel David Simpson, Philip Ryan Smith, Keon De’Morris Smith, Lily McCalla Soto, Lorelai Makenzie Spillers, Hannah Elizabeth Stevens, Emily Elise Strum, Carissa Ann Sullivan, Ann Morgan Swords, Julia Adeline Tann, Julia Elizabeth Tannehill, Jack Rhea Teng, Emmanuelle Rachel Thompson, Addison Mae Thompson, Halford Madeline Torrent, James Thomas Travis, Jaxon Owen Van Ness, Peter Fancher Waller, Mary Marshall Ward, Andreel Ti’Keshia Webb, Jaqaun Darnell White, Ava Camille Williams, Ellen Benson Wymore, Martha Olivia Leigh Yerger, Sarah Jane Young, Carter Thomas Zediker, Charlie Evan

Teacher’s List (All A’s & B’s) Abel, Elijah Taylor Abraham, Katherine Louise Adams, Margaret Pepper Adamson, Michael Joel Addy, Elias James Alexander, Breiana LaShaye Andrews, Daniel Logan Archer, Thomas Neal Arnold, Madeline Jean Baggett, Tamyra Alicia Baker, Wilson Benton Barrett, Anna Katherine Beard, Brittni Gail Berry, Eleanor Alexander Best, Aubrey Caroline Bianco, Andrew Joseph Bianco, Samuel Marquette Bishop, Aubrey Reed Bishop, Mary Katherine Blake, Christian Quin-Maronye Boone, Morgan Taylor Boudreaux, Keith Anthony Boughton, Aaliyah Bourn, Gracie Caroline Bradley, Brandon DaShun Bradley, Connor Blake Bradley, Zachary Mar’Tez Brewer, Timothy Hutson Brines, Lawson Henry Brown, Ryan Edward Bruce, Owen Wulff Buskes, Elsie Lee Hua Da Byars, Kathryn Culpepper Byars, Wilton Vance Calderwood, Kathryn Rose Caldwell, Deijanee Nicole Campbell, Saniah Nicole Caraway, Savannah Eve Carothers, Karen Elise Carrington, William Tucker Carwyle, Davis Monroe Case, Catherine Bryan Case, Lucy Catherine Chandler, Lauren Claire Chiniche, Lucy Dale Cipkowski, Leo O’Neil Clark, Abigail Lynn Coleman, Alijah Montana Collins, Alice Cofield Cook, Mary Ellen Coon, Russell Connor Cooper, Jessica Lynn Copley, Jessica Elizabeth Cousar, Reece Franklin Creekmore, Catherine Elizabeth Crosby, Madison Elizabeth Culpepper, Robert Fallon Dabney, Sally Kate Davidson, Adrian J’Quarie Davis, Arden Alicia Davis, Emily R. Davis, Hallie Jane-Lord Dawkins, Anna Gabrielle Dear, Jackson Kent Desler, Elizabeth Brooks Douglas, Jonathan Michael Dukes, Kylin Maurice Durham, James Taylor Dyer, Grace Thompson Easley, Colby J. Eastland, Mary Allyn Edge, Jesse Clifton Evans Elgohry, Kareem Moustafa Evans, Christina Camilla Evans, David Aitken Farese, Emma Reed Farmer, Nolan Scott Field, Catherine Newell Finn, Matthew Evan Flowers, Ty’Derriya J Fogerty, Daryl Charles Franks, Sarah Grace Freelon, Khyan Marquee Frierson, Demarius Ja’Shoun Fuller, Brooks Brown Fulton, Joshua Grey Gardner, Andrew Stephens Gililland, John Michael Gordon, Kyle Dekendric Gordon, Taylor D Gough, Mary Mobley Goulet, Yaniv Liberman Goza, Meredith Tatum Grafton, Daniel Cole Gul, Sharjeel Waseem Gunn, Elizabeth Abigail Hakim, Benjamin Stewart Hale, Benjamin Lewis Hall, Daniel Louis Hardy, Sarah Katherine Harrell, Logan Andrew Avant Harris, Keiona Aaliyah Hartnett, Eli Curtis Hartnett, Samuel Mark Harvey, John McCormick Hayward, Mary Clark Henderson, Andrew Hollensworth Hester, Andrew David Hester, Emily Amanda Hill, Caroline McLain Hillmer, Carter Neil Hitchcock, Grayson Chance Hitchcock, Kaden Presley Hitchcock, Landon Grant Holben, Ethan Clay Holley, Abigail Rose Hollingsworth, William Thomas Holmes, Klaria Ernese Hooker, Preston Alexander Horton, Khaniaya Raquakkia Taylor Hubbell, Hayden Elizabeth Huggins, Nicholas David Hughes, Patricia Kathleen Hultman, Emerson Moffatt Hunter, Lilly McKay Huynh, Kelly Hyche, Nathan Howard Ivy, Anthony Clay Jackson, Charles Julian Jekabsons, Mathew Elias Jenkins, Ruth Anne Johnson, Grace Elizabeth Jones, Khloe Tzion Joyce, Grace Ann Kamman, Caroline Wood Kennedy, Kaitlyn Elizabeth Kimbrell, Avery Ryan Kincaid, Caroline Grace Koestler, William Downing Lamar, Elizabeth Merrill Langendoen, Noah Patrick Lewis, Desiree Nicole Little, William Jacob Longnecker, Alex Jeffery Loper, Michael Blake Lopez, Frida Esparza Madlock, Antonio Dewane Bailey Madlock, Kyndal Camille Marsh, Jeffrey Coleman Marzouk, Heba Omar Marzouk, Mohamed Omar Mayes, Tamara Octavia Divin Mayo, Thomas Hayes McCormick, Parker Keen McCready, Campbell Elizabeth McCullen, Mary Alice McCullough, Tajah Brianna McDaniel, Emma Kate McKeown, Lucas James McKinney, Savannah Rene’e Merrell, Aubrey Kate Metcalf, Zharia Dominique Meyer, Olivia Nicole Mims, Addison Grace Mitchell, Julia Braden Mitchell, Lilli-Grace Camille Moore, Martha Mikaela Moore, Robert Cole Morales Romero, Luis Antonio Morgan, Joshua Carr Morrow, Dolnesha Ka’Jettie Morse, Emily Elizabeth Mott, Matthew Dean Mullins, Ann McCall Munoz, Aldrin Harvey Munoz, Esmeralda Alondra Murphey, Carole Addison Murphy, Anna Lea Murthy, Srujana N. Nalls, Makayla Antoinette Nash, Bo Thomas Neilson, Marjorie Ann Nelson, Olivia Claire Renee Newsom, Anna Grace Newsom, Caroline Virginia Nichopoulos, Alexis Athena Norris, Christian Graham Norris, Niles Spencer O’Neill, Griffin Elliot O’Reilly, Felicity Rose Oliver, Corey Vincent Overby, Ryleigh Grace Parker, Landon Wyatt Parker, Sara Grace Patton, Kathleen Sampson Pearson, Joshua Eli Perkins, John Seton Perrier, Justine Elodie Perry, Knox Nelson Peters, Ann Fava Pettis, Darius Jordan Pittman, Anne Elizabeth Ponder, Stetson Lane Powell, Charles Obie Prillerman, Egypt Ayanna Purdon, Elinor Claire Rankin, Randi Elizabeth Ravishankar, Anish Reynolds, Evangeline Marie Reysen, Summer Victoria Roach, Tejeland Renee Robbins, Lydia Bailey Ross, Taylor Brooke Roth, Andrew Evan Rousseau, Jacob Louis Rowland, Whitman Morse Roy, Jackson Medwick Russell, Abby Grace Rychlak, Olivia Claire Salau, Farid Schove, Mary Dewitt Scott, Tucker Rhodes Scruggs, Michael Andrew Shinall, Ally Virginia Shorter, Tristan Dean Sisk, Syrena Victoriah Smith, Andrew Hartley Smith, Evelyn Gates Smith, Graham Benjamin Smith, Tyler James Smith, Virginia Madeline Smith, William Alexander Sockwell, Ryan James Solinger, Eli Charles Southern, Derrius Ke’Shaun Spears, Sydney Nicole Sterling, Benjamin Dakota Stewart, John Franklin Stinnett, Parker Joseph Stone, Anthony Cade Sudduth, Margaret Ann Sudduth, Virginia Kathryn Surbeck, Collin Queiroz Tann, William Harrison Tannehill, Margaret McKenzie Tatum, Julien Rundell Thompson, Grace Jean Thompson, Julie Marie Tidwell, Vasilios Zachery Tingle, Brooklyn Noelle Toma, Emily Anne Torrent, Charles Joseph Torrent, David Allan Tosh, Dennis Stone Treloar, Avery Elise Trott, Joseph Howard Tyner, Susan Rebecca Upton, Morgan Mackenzie Urbina, Alenys Van Ness, Morgan Alexandra Vijayasankar, Akshaya Wadlington, Hiram Donavon Waller, Sara Katherine Wang, Qi Hang Warrington, Wesley Anne Watts, Ana Brooke Watts, Brandon Hugh Waxler, Elijah Latimer Webb, Hollin Sebastein Webster, Lindsey Marie Wheeler, Kayla Kaprice Wheeler, Sophia Pauline White, Brian Garrett White, Jammie Marcell White, KeMariaha Elise White, Lindsey Cameron Whitehead, Dalton Garvis Whitwell, Davis Carroll Wicker, Eli Scott Wilfawn, Quentin Carter Wilkins, William Thomas Williams, Tyler Jamal Wilson, Paschal Peolia Woodard, Niquisha Monquie Yerger, Frank Montague Young, Jalon Kershun

Courtesy of the Oxford School District

For more questions or comments email us at hottytoddynews@gmail.com. 

The post Oxford School District’s Honor Rolls for the First Nine Weeks appeared first on HottyToddy.com.

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter Ch. 9

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapters 1-8 found here. Also on FF.net and AO3

Slate gray clouds churned overhead, underbellies illuminated shades of neon by city lights. The air was cool and thick, rain threatened to spill over at any moment. Adverse weather did little to hinder city life; streets were alive with merriment, a kind of social buzzing unique to Vancouver.

Addyson had visited the megatropolis often for business, but always made sure to stay away from the heart of the city, where crowds gathered and festivities ran through the night. She much preferred the comfort of her hotel room on such occasions.

Unfortunately, her time was not her own tonight.

She stuck close to Jacob as they navigated the sidewalks; around them, colleagues turned to friends by a few after dinner drinks, friends transitioned into foes by one too many shots, and couples expressed love usually reserved for private quarters, emboldened by liquor.

During their stealthy shuttle ride in, Miranda had given a curt briefing: an unknown group of unregistered biotics had begun “terrorizing” Vancouver's north strip a couple days ago. Their crimes consisted mostly of destruction of property, robbery, assault, and, of course, being biotics.

As they drew nearer the area the biotics had last been seen, more and more Alliance patrols were posted on street corners. Shepard stole a glance at Jacob, his eyes still hard though he tried to look at ease. He looked much more himself dressed in civilian casual attire; his simple navy shirt stretched taut over his chest, giving the appearance of added size, was even more flattering than his skin-tight Cerberus uniform. His upturned collar fit in with the crowd, but she cringed at the sight of it, at what it meant.

They had decided, at her suggestion, to forgo their amps for the sake of cover; they couldn't risk being identified as biotics. Addyson's loose hair was more than sufficient in hiding the port at the base of her skull, but Jacob had to put forth more effort to keep his secret.

Being without her amp left her vulnerable, naked on the streets of Vancouver. Even with the pistols they each carried concealed within jackets, they were only at half strength without the boost of their amps. The gun, though secure in it's holster, felt heavy on her side, every step a reminder that the public viewed firearms as less of a threat than the eezo nodules under her skin. With or without an amp, simply by existing, they posed a threat.

“I'm surprised, Shepard. You clean up good.”

She laughed. Jacob had his own supply of casuals on board, but she did not. She had to resort to wearing some of Miranda's clothing, most of which were tight, fashionable, and dark, with shades of red cast in. None of which were her particular style; she had been lucky enough to find a blouse that didn't hang too loosely off her chest.

“As long as I pass for normal, I don't care so much about good.”

Her short conversation with Jacob on the Normandy had given her more than enough time to discover Jacob was, as Joker had claimed, a genuinely nice guy. They hadn't had enough time for her to push for more information on Cerberus, but she had also gathered that his experience with the Alliance had been short-lived, and that he and Miranda had more history than either of them wanted let on.

He had, however, immediately interpreted her friendliness as a deeper attraction, and had responded with a unique sort of cold flirtation, despite not wanting to “make things weird”.

“Normal is overrated. You're better than that, Shepard.”

Addyson knew he was referring to biotics, the “us against the world” mentality that most of them had, but she couldn't resist a smile. “Not better, just different. A little nicer, maybe. Now, eyes on the prize, Jacob. We're getting close.”

The next couple of hours passed slowly, filled with multiple drinks at various clubs. The two feigned intoxication, grateful for their higher than average tolerances. They mingled with other patrons, maintaining a watchful eye for any sign of other biotics nearby. Shepard hadn't felt so much as a tickle of energy, until -

“Oh shit!”

A shriek of terror cut through the air, the first of many. The bar erupted in noise; customers cried out, glasses shattered, bodies slammed together as hundreds tried to exit the building simultaneously.

Shepard clutched Jacob's forearm with one hand, the other planted firmly on the bar, preventing them from being swept away by the crowd. Each stood at full height, scanned over the heads of panicked civilians, searching for the cause of the chaos.

They spotted the source at the same time.

At the back of the room, lingering by the rear exit, was a single female biotic, clad in barely more than strips of cloth and leather, bathed in telltale cerulean electricity.

“Looks like we found our rogues!” Jacob struggled to be heard over the crowd.

“Just one, looks like. And she's not exactly subtle!”

Addyson released Jacob, pushed herself from the counter and into the sea of frightened bar-goers. She fought against them, wave after wave, leaving Jacob in her wake and hoping he wouldn't drown behind her. As she approached, her path was easier; most of the hoard had made it to the front half of the bar within seconds.

The biotic was oblivious to Shepard's presence; she struggled against a woman she had captured by the arm, working to tear the woman's purse from her hands.

“Hey!” Shepard's voice boomed over the empty half of the bar. “Let her go. Now!”

The biotic froze, distracted, her focus shifting to Shepard. Her victim seized the opportunity, wrenched her arm free from the biotic, and darted toward the front doors. The biotic flared, her energy filling the space between them was nuclear, stronger than Addyson had ever felt and just as untamed. She itched for her amp in that moment; without it, it was unlikely she could compete with this woman biotically.

The woman raised her arm, her teeth bared, summoning more eezo as she took aim at her escaping target. Reflexes honed by years of training retrieved the pistol from Shepard's holster, pointed it at the young biotic, her finger on the trigger ready to squeeze at a moment's notice. The biotic took note, halted her attack, turned her attention to Shepard.

“Bitch! You just cost me my ticket out of here. You're going to pay for that.” The woman stepped toward her, paying no mind to the pistol aimed at her skull. “Are you going to shoot or what?”

Shepard didn't flinch at the invasion of personal space. She kept her firearm trained on the woman, eying her closely, sizing her up. She was young, couldn't be more than twenty, beautiful, with heavy makeup lining large, round eyes and plump lips stained dark. Her head was shaved, a layer of peach fuzz split by two lines of tattoos on either side of her scalp. Strips of fabric criss-crossed her chest and abdomen, a leather jacket covering her shoulders. Most of her bare skin was covered in ink, a combination of odd symbols, numbers, and designs Shepard couldn't comprehend. Some were unfinished outlines, some patches of flesh completely saturated.

“I'm hoping you won't make me.”

“Good move. It'll take more than a fucking pistol to put me down anyway. I could rip you to shreds before you unloaded the clip.”

Shepard kept her expression deadpan. “Let's see it, then.”

She felt Jacob appear at her side, his biotics prickling against her skin in response to the tattooed biotic's wild flare, his pistol drawn.

The young biotic snarled, an angry mixture of laughter and a scoff. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Jacob, Shepard. Whatever you're doing down there has gotten the Alliance's attention. Ground troops are headed your way.” Miranda's accented voice filled their ears through the comms.

Shepard saw Jacob look over his shoulder for sign of the troops, then bring his focus back to the stranger in front of them. “We're friends. We want to take you and the others you know somewhere safe.”

“You think I'll let you take me? Like all the others? Do you think I'm fucking stupid?” The woman seethed, her biotics crackling, “Nowhere is fucking safe.”

Shepard shot a warning glance at Jacob, silently ordering him to shut up. Whoever this woman was, she was unstable and angry; she could feel the rage coming off her, boiling hot and backed by eezo.

“Jacob! Shepard! Are you reading me?”

Shepard ignored the warning, honed in on the tattooed woman. “I can't promise safe, but I can promise you, you want to be on our side.”

The woman considered her offer, her large brown eyes dancing with flecks of biotic blue, muddled with indecision. She paced with short, quick steps. Shepard watched her carefully, her finger steady on the trigger; the woman was erratic, her eyes like those of an animal in a trap.

“Shepard.” Jacob caught her attention, nodded to the front of the bar where flashing blue lights signaled the rapid approach of the Alliance.

She could hear the thunder of boots on the ground, an entire task force had been sent.

“Shepard! Answer me, damn it!”

Her heart pounded in her chest, blood whooshed in her ears.

She couldn't leave this woman here, she would surely get caught sooner or later, and when she did...Shepard shuddered internally at the thought of what the Alliance would do if they got their hands on such a powerful biotic. And if she was tied to the rogue biotics who had been spotted around town, Shepard needed her connection.

Boots crunched on broken glass. They were inside.

“What's it going to be?” Addyson struggled to keep her voice level, fully aware that within seconds the three of them would be pinned under the aim of ten or more assault rifles.

The tattooed biotic ceased her pacing, turned to face Shepard and Jacob, her mouth gaped open at the sight of the Alliance soldiers closing in.

“You there! On the ground, hands where we can see them! All of you!” A soldier barked orders.

Shepard could feel the rifles trained on her back, the heat of Jacob's adrenaline surging beside her. She could feel the sting of the young woman's biotics as she summoned the eezo in her veins. She snarled, flared, flinched just enough for Shepard to realize she was going to try to take out the entire task force.

Shepard lunged for cover as bullets sprayed.

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter Ch.7

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapters 1-6 found here. Also on FF.net and AO3

Shepard checked her omni-tool as she entered the elevator, taking her place beside Kaidan as the doors hissed shut. According to her 'tool, an hour had passed since they had arrived on the Normandy. If Jacob was correct in stating they had two hours tops before reaching their Cerberus destination, they didn't have much time left aboard the ship. There was still so much she wanted to accomplish in what little time remained.

She glanced over at Kaidan, who was busy with his own omni-tool and didn't notice her watching him. It was strange to see him, the Alliance's favorite biotic, in the black and white Cerberus fatigues. It was even stranger to see him looking relaxed for the first time since they met. Addyson had expected him to be more stressed after finding out what was happening on Jump Zero, not less; the odds certainly were stacked against them, neither of them knew what they were walking into with Cerberus, and his fear for the lives of the people they left behind on the station was well founded. Yet there he was, fiddling with his 'tool, looking as cool and collected as she had ever seen him.

If she were perfectly honest, Addyson was far from feeling at ease. When word came that the biotic round up was happening much sooner than anticipated, Anderson had barely enough time to give her a list of soldiers she was supposed to recruit, let alone properly brief her. There had been no mention of working with a private corporation. She was operating blind, her actions based fully on the trust she placed in Anderson; if he listed Miranda Lawson as a contact, he must have known about Cerberus. He must have believed teaming up with them was the right move.

Still, Shepard felt as if she were stumbling around in the dark, lost aboard a foreign ship full of operatives working for a ghost. Briefly, she found herself thanking no one in particular that Kaidan had followed her off Jump Zero. Having another Alliance biotic by her side was comforting, as was his newfound calmness. She just hoped she made the right call and wasn't leading them straight into a trap.

The elevator reached the second deck and the doors slid open. Kaidan looked up then, and a surprised look passed over his face when he found Shepard was already looking at him.

A soft heat burned at her cheeks when his eyes found hers, and Addyson winced internally at the feeling. She offered a small smile, hoping her face hadn't shown evidence of her embarrassment over having been caught watching him.

“Good luck, Kaidan.”

Shepard brushed a hand against his wrist, her smile growing as their biotics clashed and a small jolt of electricity jumped between them. He clearly hadn't been expecting the contact and she noticed him instinctively start to withdraw from the shock, but he stopped himself just as quickly.

Kaidan nodded, a gentle smile playing across his lips.  “You too, Shepard.”

She returned his smile and stepped out of the elevator, the doors hissing shut behind her. Addyson paused, taking in her surroundings with more care than she had her first time in the CIC.

In the center was a map of the galaxy that, even from a distance, she could see included systems far beyond the limits of human space travel. The inclusion both excited and disturbed her. The Normandy was an incredibly advanced frigate; Addyson wouldn't be surprised if the Illusive Man had more ambitious plans for the ship, but going beyond the limits set in place by the Council species was a death sentence not just for any ship that dared travel that far, but for all of humanity.

Addyson pushed the thought from her mind. Maybe it's just for completion's sake. If Cerberus had plans of leaving human-occupied space, she would just have to hope that her business with them was done before they acted. For now, she had to focus on the task at hand. For Kaidan, that meant going down to the lower decks and poking around; with any luck, he would find files on the ship, Cerberus, and the Illusive Man himself. For Shepard, it meant getting to know the crew.

There were plenty of bodies working about the main area of the CIC, but she wrote most of them off for the time being. She needed insider information about Cerberus. She needed higher ranking members to befriend. Basic support staff would have to wait. Regardless, she smiled and greeted each staff member warmly as she made her way to the bridge.

It occurred to her that Lawson and Taylor were likely the highest ranking operatives aboard the Normandy, but Addyson wasn't quite ready to go toe to toe with Miranda again. The woman had rubbed Shepard wrong from the start, and her wanting to leave Kaidan behind had almost convinced Shepard to take her chances on the station rather than follow Lawson's lead. Jacob had been friendly enough, but his siding with Miranda was enough to discourage her from seeking him out first; he would be around when they landed, anyhow.

Meeting the pilot seemed like the best course of action.

When she reached the bridge, the man in the pilot's chair had his back to her. Shepard opened her mouth to speak, then clamped it shut. How was she supposed to address the pilot for a non-military ship? Would he still be considered a flight lieutenant?

“Hey there, Shepard. Long time, no see.”

The chair swiveled as the familiar voice spoke, and Addyson struggled to keep her jaw from falling to the floor. No way! Happiness washed over her at the sight of him; his beard, as usual, was grown longer than Alliance regs deemed acceptable, and his eyes alight with merriment as he looked up at her from his chair.

“Joker!”

Addyson couldn't contain herself. She launched herself forward and wrapped her arms around the pilot, who groaned and huffed against her. It had been months since she had seen Joker; it wasn't easy staying in touch while he was incarcerated.

“Come on, Shepard.” He groaned, “Get off me before you break a rib or something.”

A grin stretched ear to ear as Shepard gave her friend one last squeeze before straightening. He looked the same as always, though he had a few more lines around his eyes and his usual blue Alliance cap had been replaced by a black and white one that read SR2.

“What are you doing here?”

Joker shrugged. “Some fancy lawyer showed up one day and got me out. Real shady, actually. Like he was straight out of The Godfather. The guy told me he had an offer I couldn't refuse.”

“And being the pilot of this ship was the offer?”

“Can you believe it?” Joker was ecstatic, “I'll admit, it was weird at first, working for some super secret organization that wants to take out the Alliance, but hey, it's nice to be recognized for my talent.”

Shepard didn't blame him one bit. Joker was arguably the best pilot she had ever met, yet his flying expertise had been all but overlooked his entire life due to his illness. Having brittle bones prevented him from normal physical activity (hell, he could barely walk without braces and crutches), but little else. His need to prove himself fueled many of his actions, and he had fought tooth and nail to enlist in the Alliance and flight school when he turned eighteen. It paid off when he surpassed all other students in his class, and even some instructors. Or so he had thought. Unfortunately, being an exceptional pilot wasn't enough to convince the Alliance's commanding officers to overlook his handicap.

“When did you get out?” Shepard was still grinning, unable to wipe the expression off her face.

“Okay, first of all, stop looking at me like that. You're really creeping me out. I got out a couple weeks ago. I've been on the Normandy since.”

Shepard obliged, the smile dropping from her face and a frown taking it's place. “You've been out for two weeks and didn't tell me?”

Joker held his hands up as if in surrender. “Boss's orders, Shepard. No coms allowed.”

“The boss being Anderson, or the Illusive Man?”

“I mean, technically neither is paying me so...” Joker chuckled at the pursed lip expression Shepard shot him before continuing, “Neither wanted me to talk to you. Too risky. Ya know, with the government wanting to kill all you biotics and us committing treason and everything.”

Shepard exhaled heavily and maneuvered herself into the co-pilot's chair, allowing herself to flop against the leather like a sack of potatoes. She was relieved that Anderson had a part in Joker's being there and that it wasn't just Cerberus hiring someone she knew to keep her complacent.

“How has it been? Working for Cerberus?”

Joker had swiveled back around in his chair and his fingers made themselves busy on the holographic interface before him. “Great, so far. Working for the Illusive Man is like working for a ghost. If it weren't for Miranda, I'd be king of this place.”

A small scoff burst forth from her throat at the mention of Miranda. “I take it you're not her biggest fan either?”

Joker chuckled. “I'd never say anything bad about Miranda and expect to survive the reprisal. But she's not all bad. I mean, have you seen that outfit she walks around in? I used to have a poster like that on my wall.”

Shepard shook her head in begrudged amusement, her hand raising to smooth the crown of her hair and hooking around the back of her neck. She didn't know what outfit he was referring to, she had only seen Miranda in the same plain outfit she and Kaidan had been wearing at Jump Zero, but Joker's comment produced the mental image of something either very tight or made of very little material. Maybe even both.

“What about Jacob?”

“Jacob? He's way too nice a guy for someone who spends all day doing sit-ups and training to kill people.”

A quiet snort blew from her nose. If all Joker had to say about Taylor was that he was nice, it had to be true.

“I heard you convinced Lieutenant Alenko to sign on with us. What'd you have to do to swing that, Shepard? Seduce him?”

Sarcasm dripped from his words and Shepard noticed the corner's of Joker's lips twitch upward as he tried to suppress a grin, clearly amused by his own joke. Joker hadn't met Alenko before, but like the rest of Earth, he had seen him plenty on the news. Addyson knew he wasn't a fan of the lieutenant; he had never been able to understand how a biotic could be so steadfast in defending and supporting an organization that caused so much pain to his own kind.

“Ha ha, Joker.” Shepard straightened slightly in her chair. “I didn't have to do much convincing. He got to see it first hand. I thought I was going to have to carry him out at first.”

“Ah shit, now I feel like an asshole.”

In truth, Shepard had never understood Kaidan's actions either. It wasn't until she watched him in the mess on Jump Zero, selflessly running to aid the woman who fell victim to the Alliance soldier's brutality, that she had gained any sort of mutual understanding. Addyson had chosen to stay in the Alliance after BAaT because she believed in the cause; she wanted to go to space, she wanted to serve Earth, and she wanted to make a difference. She supposed Kaidan's reasons were similar. She also supposed that if it weren't for Anderson's guidance, she would have developed the same blind devotion to the Alliance that Kaidan had.

If it weren't for Anderson, they would both still be on Jump Zero.

“Just try not to act like one when you meet him.”

Joker's focus didn't leave the panel in front of him, but she could still see the playful light gleaming in his eyes.

“Uh oh Shepard, you sound a little protective. Anything I should know?”

Addyson pursed her lips and inhaled deeply, her sigh coming out as an exasperated groan as she stood from the co-pilot's chair and moved behind Joker, who was now grinning shamelessly. She stealthily moved her hand behind his head and delivered a quick flick to his earlobe, laughing when he yelped and slapped his hand over his ear.

“Just focus on flying the ship, Joker.” she spoke through her grin.

She heard him mumble something under his breath about abusing the pilot and she simply shook her head. Joker could be an arrogant, sarcastic asshole sometimes, but it was good to see him. It was good to have a friend she could trust flying them into the unknown.

Shepard turned on her heel and began walking back down the bridge way. Catching up with Joker would have to wait, unfortunately; she still needed to find a legitimate Cerberus agent she could charm into divulging too much information. As she stepped away, Joker called after her.

“I'm taking that as a yes!”

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter Ch. 6

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapters 1-5 found here. Also on FF.net and AO3

If Miranda hadn't appeared behind him immediately after the elevator doors had closed, Shepard inside, her unforgiving green eyes looking right through him, Kaidan might have lost control. His fists were clenched, ready to take aim at the metal doors she had escaped behind. It had been days and he still had no real answers, no thorough explanation of what was going on.

He had taken a chance and followed Shepard onto that shuttle, only to find himself on a strange ship that belonged to people he knew nothing about. It was aggravating, to say the least. What the hell had she dragged him into?

Worse yet, she had practically just run away from him, leaving him alone and confused, just as she had done the first day on Jump Zero.

Fortunately, Miranda had appeared and offered to show him to the med bay before he damaged the elevator doors; her quarters were on the third deck as well, so she was headed that direction anyway. He doubted the offer would have come if it had been out of her way; though he had been in somewhat of a stupor when Shepard and Miranda had found him on Gagarin, he remembered the sour note of her tone upon seeing his condition. A burden, she had remarked. Miranda's presence kept him from lashing out, but the anger within him continued to build.

Regardless of the frustration that was beginning to overwhelm him, Kaidan couldn't help but be impressed by the ship.  Part of him was itching to get down to engineering and learn more about how the frigate operated. A larger part was eager to part ways with Miranda and get in and out of the med bay as quickly as possible so he could find Shepard and demand answers.

They reached the third deck and Kaidan forced a mostly polite parting remark to Miranda before heading directly into the med bay.

“Lieutenant Alenko, it's good to meet you.”

An older woman with grey hair cropped at her chin and kind green eyes greeted him as he stepped inside the med bay, her soft accented tone friendly and welcoming.

“Doctor Karin Chakwas. Please, sit.”

Kaidan followed her instruction, sitting on the edge of the bed to which she had gestured.

“Pleasure, ma'am.”

A pleased smile graced the doctor's lips as she glanced over the datapad she held in her hands. “The pleasure is all mine, Lieutenant. It's not every day I see a soldier with manners in this organization, especially ones who have been through what you have.”

Kaidan couldn't help but smile in return, the sharp edge of anger that had been cutting through him immediately burnished by the doctor's demeanor. She spoke to him with the same matronly tone his mother did, filling him with an odd sense of peace.

“Have you been with Cerberus long?” Kaidan tried not to sound overzealous, but the look Chakwas shot him suggested he had failed.

Chakwas set her datapad down and stepped in front of him. She waved her omni-tool over his body and looked down at the 'tool, silently reading over the report as she spoke.

“Only for a short while, but long enough to know that Cerberus doesn't train them like the Alliance does.”

Kaidan's brows shot up inquisitively at the mention of the Alliance; apparently, Chakwas possessed the same all-seeing eye all mother's did because she continued on as if she had seen his shock, even though her eyes never left her 'tool.

“I enlisted with the Alliance straight from medical school. I only just came to Cerberus when Captain Anderson confirmed Udina's plans for biotics.” Her eyes lifted to meet his. “Wretched man, Udina.”

Kaidan swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. How did everyone know about this except me?

“Save a bruised lung and some broken ribs, you seem to be in fine condition, Lieutenant. Not much I can do for you now except prescribe you analgesics and rest. Have you been experiencing any migraines?”

Again, Kaidan found himself caught off guard by the doctor. Clearly, she had access to his medical records. Being an L-2 was a matter of public record, but few outside his family and Alliance medical personnel he had seen directly knew that he suffered from migraines. He shuddered at the realization that if Chakwas knew such information, Cerberus and the Illusive Man must have much more on him.

“Uh, no, ma'am. They mostly come when I use my biotics, and it's been a few days since I have...”

Chakwas nodded. “Right then. If you begin showing symptoms, please don't hesitate to come see me.”

She smiled, but Kaidan knew that tone and he recognized the authoritative look in her eye; it wasn't a request, it was an order.

“I won't. Thank you, ma'am.”

Accepting that he understood, Chakwas offered a genuine smile and stepped back. “Alright, Alenko, you're free to go. Get some rest.”

Kaidan hopped down from the bed and accepted the bottle of painkillers from the doctor before exiting the med bay. There were several crew members in the mess, all of them whispering amongst each other, watching him with astonishment. He wondered if they were biotics. He wondered if they knew who he was due to news networks or intel. He wondered if their whispers were because they couldn't believe he was willing to turn his back on the Alliance, or because they thought he had known all along.

Kaidan clenched his jaw and strode purposefully to the starboard lounge, his steely demeanor staving off the inquisitive crew as he passed their table.

The lounge was quite an upgrade from the crew quarters he was used to; though it had only had two long couches and no bed, a window that expanded about a third of the length of the room provided a magnificent view of the stars. Transcending that, it was private, for which he was incredibly grateful.

Unfortunately, the clothes he found inside were all of the same black and white design, a yellow insignia stitched on each sleeve. Apprehension tightened in his core as he stared at the fabric in his hands; he knew nothing about Cerberus, it didn't feel right to wear their uniform.

None of this feels right.

Kaidan exhaled a heavy, uneven sigh, and gripped the edge of the dresser in a feeble attempt to steady himself. The constant battle between his brain, heart, and gut was taking it's tole. The lingering aches in his chest, he supposed, weren't helping.

Uniform or sweatpants.

After a moment, Kaidan steeled himself and changed into the Cerberus fatigues. Being fully clothed and with shoes was comforting, despite it feeling like a betrayal, and there were more important matters than clothing. He reminded himself of that fact and hastily made his way back to the elevator and selected deck one, pleased that he was the only one in the shaft.

His meeting with Chakwas had given him time to cool off since Shepard had ordered him away and shut the elevator doors in his face, but he was still irritated with her. Just thinking about it made the anger cut through him again like a fresh wound. He didn't know what he would say to her, he hadn't had much time to think about it. He didn't want a fight, but he wasn't sure he would be able to contain his frustration. And there were plenty of questions swimming around his mind, threatening to drown him under a flood of uncertainty, but he didn't know where to begin.

The elevator ride was too short for him to organize his thoughts. Deck one, it seemed, consisted of only Shepard's assigned room. The interface on the door was already green when the lift doors slid open, and he nearly burst into the room.

“Shepard,” he started, his voice was louder and harsher than he intended, but he decided to embrace it. He wanted Shepard to know he was angry.

The room was empty and dark, save for a faint blue glow from a wall of fish tanks. Rage surged through his veins and his fists clenched. She said she'd be here, she's blowing me off!

“Calm down, Alenko, I'm down here.”

Embarrassment replaced anger and Kaidan felt his face warm at the sound of her voice. He stepped cautiously further into the bedroom and down a small stretch of stairs. Shepard sat on a couch, previously hidden by a half wall and a desk, her legs crossed underneath her and hunched over a tray of food. She had yet to change her clothes and she had twisted her hair into a knot atop her head. She didn't look up from her meal.

“Sorry, Shepard. I uh, didn't see you down here.”

“Clearly. You want to sit?”

Kaidan looked between her and the spot on the other end of the couch to which she gestured, and shrugged. At least the invitation to get comfortable meant she planned on speaking with him for a while.

Her eyes passed over him carefully, an expression he didn't recognize crossing her face as she took in the design of his fatigues. When her eyes reached his, they locked on; the intensity of her stare caused Kaidan to shift uncomfortably in his seat, but he didn't break contact.

“Some outfit you've got there.”

“I could say the same to you.” Kaidan replied, and was rewarded with a small upturn of Shepard's lips.

“Food took priority. It's been a minute since we've eaten.”

Guilt twinged in his gut as she offered him a protein bar. Though her tone held no resentment, he was able to infer that the last time she had eaten was his last meal as well. Breakfast on Jump Zero, when she had given him half of her rations. The guilt expanded throughout his abdomen.

“Why do you make me beg?” Shepard shook the bar at him.

The crooked grin displayed across her lips disarmed him completely, any lingering sense of animosity he felt toward her vanished into thin air. Had he already forgotten her kindness on the station? Was he so desperate for answers that he failed to recall how she had literally given him the clothes off her body?

“Thanks, Shepard.”

Convinced by both her persistence and the thunder rolling in his stomach, Kaidan accepted the protein bar.

“What'd the doc say?”

“Just a bruised lung.”

“Good. So, what do you want to ask me?”

Straight to business, as usual. Kaidan looked up, caught mid-bite, and Shepard laughed quietly. He realized he must have looked like a wild animal mowing down on it's prey. He hadn't realized how hungry he had been until the block of chalk-like protein touched his tongue. He forced a dry swallow, the thickened mass of food making it down his throat with a pronounced gulp.

“I uh,” Kaidan raised the back of his hand to his forehead, scrubbing over it as he fought for words, “I'm not sure where to begin, Shepard.”

One corner of Shepard's mouth pulled into a sympathetic, lopsided smile. “Me neither.”

“What does the Alliance – or, Udina, uh...what exactly is happening on Gagarin?”

Kaidan tripped and stumbled over the words to his first inquiry, but he felt some of the weight roll off his shoulders at having finally been able to voice his question. The first of many.

Shepard took a deep breath and set down her tray on the table before her, then pivoted so that she was facing Kaidan. Even in the dimly lit room, he could see heavy lines of wear on her face, as if she hadn't slept in ages. Or perhaps as if she were dreading this conversation.

“I only know what Captain Anderson has told me, and he hasn't been able to get me the whole collection of intel. What I do know is there will be experiments. They'll test the limits of biotic abilities, whether they can be altered, if and how they can be disabled. They'll test weapons designed specifically to use against biotics. There was mention of testing if biotics can be passed on genetically. Most are expected to die during testing.”

Kaidan could feel the color drain from his face as Shepard spoke and he choked down another lump of protein bar. Imagined scenes of people being tortured and maimed by weapons flitted through his mind's eye before he could stop them and he shuddered. He managed to cut off the unwanted thoughts before he could  begin to wonder just how they would discover if biotics were genetic.

“Why?”

Shepard shrugged, the normally flippant gesture made heartfelt by the heavy drag of her shoulders. “Udina and the people in his circle think we're alien, subhuman. More importantly, we can be used to find weaknesses in biotics, so when the real aliens come back, humanity will be prepared.”

“How...” Kaidan trailed off, his mind struggling to wrap around her words.

“Udina has a lot of friends in high places with deep pockets, Kaidan. He's not acting alone, but he also doesn't have everyone's support. Captain Anderson, for one. And Admiral Hackett.”

Kaidan's brows rose, he could've sworn, to his hairline. “Admiral Hackett?”

Admiral Hackett was an Alliance legend, a top-ranking official who Kaidan had only ever seen at Alliance functions. He had never spoken to the Admiral, and he had always gotten the impression that Hackett only made an appearance at such things because they were mandatory.

Shepard nodded. “Hackett and Anderson are working on this from the inside.”

Though he felt like his mind was still reeling, Kaidan managed to string more words together. “If Hackett is against this, how is this going on? How is the rest of Earth letting this happen?”

Now it was Shepard who looked as if she were reeling. She shifted, drawing her knees up to her chest. Her hands moved to the knot of hair atop of her head and her fingers pulled at the bun until the crimson locks fell over her shoulders. A few stray hairs framed her pale face, which she quickly pushed back with a raking of her fingers through her mane.

“The rest of Earth doesn't know, yet. And when they find out, I'm sure the news stations will twist it in favor of the round up. Most of them are on Udina's payroll.” Kaidan felt disbelief flash across his eyes, which Shepard must have caught. “This isn't something that happened overnight, Kaidan. This has been in the works for as long as we've been alive.”

Another flash of skepticism and Kaidan heard Shepard release an exasperated sigh.

“Alenko, didn't it ever strike you as odd that biotics are required to enlist? That we're only ever taught defensive moves under the Alliance? That, unless it's about you, all news stories about biotics are about how dangerous we are? Have you seen what it's like for biotics who try to live on Earth, independent of the Alliance? When the news breaks, non-powered humans aren't going to care. Everyone is so afraid of the aliens, our deaths will be written off as a necessity of war.”

Kaidan swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat as he thought back over his Alliance career. Officers had first appeared at his family's home when he was just a kid and his biotics were just beginning to manifest. He was too young at the time to remember it, but his mother had told him they had tried to convince her that her “baby boy” was dangerous, and she had laughed them off, politely of course. He knew many biotic children had in fact been relinquished to government control as children, but his parents had opted to keep him home until he had to enlist at 17. He had been lucky, but he had never questioned the mandatory enlistment for biotics. Kaidan had family ties to the Alliance, he had always assumed he would have enlisted regardless.

The regulations forbidding offensive moves,though, had been a point of contention in the past; Kaidan was more than happy to keep his biotics to defense, but believed all soldiers should be well-rounded and learn all that they were able. Seeing Shepard and Lawson in action in the hangar had been startling, but had confirmed his beliefs that offensive attacks were valuable as well. Now, with Shepard shining a new light on the situation, it also showed him why the Alliance might not want biotics learning attacks. They were frighteningly powerful.

Perhaps, if biotics were taught attacks like Shepard and Lawson had used, life wouldn't be so bad for them on Earth. Kaidan was well aware of how biotics were treated by non-powered humans on Earth; recently, most of his assignments had been on Earth with the goal of improving relations between non-powered humans and biotics. While he hadn't experienced any violence personally, he didn't live under a rock; “normal” people did not hesitate to act on their disdain for biotics.

Kaidan inhaled, a deep shaky breath. “All those people...we left all those people on Jump Zero. We can't leave them to die.”

For the first time since she started speaking, Shepard looked remorseful. A cloud settled over her usually bright eyes and she seemed to lose her focus, staring beyond his head at the wall behind him. Kaidan recognized that blank stare; it was one he had seen on too many soldier's faces after a particularly rough fight. His eyes fell to her lip, still caked in blood where it was split, and a sense of unease settled heavily in his chest. What had happened while he was locked up in that closet?

“We can't go back for them yet, Kaidan. We're not ready. If we go now, we die and that means they all die too.”

Though he had expected such an answer, it still made Kaidan cringe to hear it aloud. There had been thousands of biotics on the station. Many he had told that it was a routine amp check, that he had lulled into a false sense of security with what he knew now were lies. Iron hands of guilt wound around his stomach and gripped hard, squeezing so tight he thought his protein bar might come back up. He had heard screams when they were leaving the station and had left them there without help. He could only imagine what would happen there in the days to come.

“How did you get me out?”

“I planted supplies the last time I was on the station.” Slowly, the distant look faded from her eyes and found his again. “We – Miranda and I – hacked the door after the night cycle started and grabbed my stash. You weren't very hard to find. There was a...a trail of blood that led us close to where you were, then we just scanned for life signs. You were the only one down that hall.”

Kaidan inhaled sharply. After the night cycle started. He felt his head begin to spin as her words sunk in. He had to have been in there for more than eight hours. He was lucky they had found him.

He wondered whose blood it was that had led them to him, but instead asked, “Why did you get me out?”

Shepard's mouth opened, then snapped shut. She raised an arm to rake her fingers through her tangled mane, the locks getting stuck around her fingers and forcing her to shake them loose. She tried again, and successfully made it through the length of her hair. Kaidan waited, watching her expression the best he could in the constantly shifting blue light of the cabin. It seemed as if this was one question she hadn't been expecting.

“Anderson put you on my recruitment list.”

Kaidan almost groaned. Right back to being short.

Shepard extended her legs out in front of her, her feet coming just short of where Kaidan sat. For a moment, Shepard looked lost, an expression Kaidan had yet to see on her face.

“Shepard?”

“Kaidan, I don't know anything about Cerberus. Or Miranda, or Jacob. Anderson told me I would be approached by an Australian biotic who would help us. He didn't say anything about The Illusive Man,” Kaidan bit back a grin at the sneer in her tone as she spoke the name, “or Cerberus. But if we're going to do this, we're going to need them.”

“Do you trust them?”

“No.”

How quickly and fiercely she responded almost made him lean back away from the bite in her words.

“I need you to do this with me, Kaidan.”

Their eyes connected for what felt like the first time since he had come into the room, and what Kaidan saw swimming in her deep green orbs surprised him; fear, desperation, pleading. Anxiety bloomed in his chest; she had remained so collected so far, through everything, that to see her look anything but sure of herself was unsettling.

“You sure you don't trust them? They did give you a pretty great room.” Kaidan attempted a smirk.

Addyson's lips curled into a lopsided smile, and though it didn't quite reach her eyes, the gloom in her eyes seemed to fade slightly.

“They've got to be buttering me up for something, right?” Her smile stretched and then faded completely. “You're good with tech, right? Can you do some digging? Find out about Cerberus?”

Kaidan's half-hearted smirk turned into a small, satisfactory smile. After more or less being at odds with Shepard since meeting her, he was pleased to have her asking for his help.

“Yeah, Shepard. I can do that.”

“Thank you, Kaidan. There's a computer in here you can use any time you need. Whenever we're on this ship, anyway.”

Shepard pulled her feet from his personal bubble and swung her legs over the side of the couch, then stood and moved over to the wardrobe on the side of the humorously large bed. Kaidan leaned back against the couch and brought one leg to rest over the other. The room was still dark, but Shepard was rifling through her Cerberus-supplied clothing, disgruntled.

The flickering blue light of the fish tanks barely reached the corner in which she stood, but the fractions of light washed over her like water itself, dancing across the bare flesh of her long legs in mesmerizing fashion. Kaidan watched the lights play across her legs as she pulled outfit after outfit in Cerberus colors, tossing each aside.

“These people really like to put their logo on everything.”

Kaidan chuckled, pleased when she cast a grin over her shoulder at him. Shepard resigned and pulled out a pair of fatigues identical to his own. She gave him no warning before she started undressing, and Kaidan averted his eyes as soon as she pulled her t-shirt over her head.

“Shepard? How did...where did you learn to use your biotics like that?”

Whether she turned to look at him or not, Kaidan wasn't sure, but he heard a soft chuckle come from her lips before she answered.

“Anderson thought I should learn more than defense, so I practiced. A lot of it was trial and error.”

“You taught yourself how to do all of that?”

Kaidan heard footsteps approaching and turned to find Shepard standing at the end of the couch, dressed in the same black and white outfit as him. An amused smile played across her lips, he guessed it was due to the fact that he had been so blatantly avoiding her naked figure.

“Yeah, mostly. I read a lot. Books about biotic theory, reports about attacks soldiers witnessed during the war.”

Kaidan made a hmph noise, his mind drifting to the logistics of trying to learn powers unknown to human biotics without any sort of instruction.

“You know, Alenko, you look better in Alliance fatigues.” Shepard jested.

Her crooked smile stayed in place as she twisted her hair into a sloppy bun at the base of her neck.

Kaidan chuckled. “Ouch, Shepard. You know, this uniform doesn't look much better on you.”

“I guess we're lucky we won't be wearing it forever then.” Shepard smiled, a warm smile that spread from ear to ear. It was the most genuine smile he had seen from her yet. “Come on, Alenko. Let's get to work.”

[citadelsushi]

Meteor! Stardust! Black hole! Galaxy! (For either or both of your Shepards)

First of all, you are wonderful and I love you for always supporting my OC ask memes lol.

Meteor and galaxy answered here

Stardust:What kind of clothes do they usually wear off-duty? (sporty, elegantor specific clothes like sweatpants, jeans, etc)

Woo!I was hoping for this one!

Avoryis all about comfort, functionality, and feeling like she could stillkick ass; she usually looks like she just woke up or is about to goto the gym. Slim fitting sweats, leggings, spandex, loose fittingtops, tank tops, sports bras, etc. Her wardrobe is mostly in shadesof black, grey, and blue. If she’s trying to dress up her look,she’ll usually opt for soft, tight fitting jeans and draping tops.She’s also a fan of leather jackets and will wear boots witheverything.

Addysonis about deep, rich colors; hunter green is a favorite, but alsomaroon, plum, navy, cream, etc. If something is a color she likes butnot her typical style, she’ll get it anyway. Ideally, she’d wear asoft, slim-fitting pant and a soft sweater all the time, but she’sopen to pretty much anything. She has a thing for shoes; if she hadthe opportunity, she’d have a different pair of shoes for literallyeverything.

Blackhole: What is your Shepard’s greatest fear?

Makingthe wrong choice. Strangely enough, that doesn’t stop her from actingquickly at the time, but afterward she’s often struck with a sense ofdread: what if she killed the wrong person, made the wrong call? Ifshe had acted differently, would things be better? I’m loving writingher post-Toombs reaction right now because she kills the scientistand then, in ME2 hears that there was insufficient testimony to bringlegal action against Cerberus. Making mistakes like that are herbiggest fear and she has even bigger choices coming up.

ForAddyson, failure. She’s still young and not as experienced ascanon-verse Shepard and she’s thrown into a leadership position witha lot riding on her shoulders. If she fails, she fails all bioticsand will see everyone she loves die.

Shepard Ask Meme

[citadelsushi]

N7 Helmet, Thermal Scope, and Dog Tags!

N7 Helmet: 

Answered here!

Thermal Scope: Howdoes the character go about reading people? Do they take people’swords and actions at face value, or do they tend to dig for othermotives? 

 Avoryis a face value kind of woman; if someone isn’t being up front abouttheir motives, she doesn’t care to know about them. She may knowthat what they’re doing/saying isn’t the whole truth, but in hermind, if they aren’t willing to be up front with her then she isn’twilling to pursue it further and she will base her judgements on whatthey present. If she makes a call based on what she knows at the timeand finds out later that there was more to it, she won’t feelremorse.    Addysonis pretty much the opposite, like she is on most things. There’salmost nothing she takes at face value. She likes to take her time,peel away the layers, get to really understand the why behind aperson. It’s to the point that she might be a bit deceptive; shewon’t hesitate to put on the charm to find out something sheneeds/wants to know. 

DogTags: How do they want to be remembered? 

 Ithink Avory wouldn’t want to be remembered at all, honestly. Not in ahistory book kind of way, at least. By people close to her, she’djust like to be remembered as who she was: a gym rat, a fiercelyloyal friend, a guardian, a hell of a soldier, and someone alwaysdown for doing something stupid and reckless for the sake ofentertainment. 

 Addysonwould want to be remembered as a bringer of change. Not for her ownego, but because she genuinely wants to change the world in which shelives for the better. By the people close to her, she’d want to beremembered as kind, an open ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a boot tokick them in the ass when they need it.

Mass Effect OC Asks

[citadelsushi]

Dwarf star, meteor, galaxy ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dwarfstar: When was your Shepard’s first kiss?

Technically,Avory’s was when she was like 10 or 11. She was in the Reds and wentthrough a phase where kissing boys was hilarious and fun, so she justwent around pecking them on the lips to watch their faces. Her firstone that was anything more than that was when she was 15 with a boyin the Reds who she regularly fooled around with for a while.

Addyson’sfirst was when she was at 18 and on leave after graduating BAaT. Sheavoided becoming involved with any biotics in training, not wantingto do anything that might jeopardize her career in the Alliance.After graduating her class went out to a bar and she and a guy shewas interested in got drunk and made out; she was underwhelmed by theexperience.

Meteor:Does your Shepard have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoyinghabits, or other defining characteristics?

Doesbeing kind of an asshole count? Cause that’s Avory. But seriously,she has an annoying habit of eating really slow. Like, if she has thetime, she’ll take an hour to finish a meal. Physically, she tends totrace her lips with her fingers when she’s lost in thought, and ifshe’s stuck anywhere for a long period of time she gets really antsyand will bounce her legs constantly. She also cracks her knuckles,her neck, and her back regularly and if it grosses someone out, shedoes it again just to mess with them.

Addysonfiddles with her hair all the damn time; runs her fingers through it,plays with the ends, puts it up and takes it down, braids it, etc.She hates having to have her hair up. That’s probably her mostannoying habit.

Galaxy:Under what circumstances do they find killing to be acceptable orunacceptable?

Ohboy. Avory doesn’t have many qualms about killing shitty people.People considered shitty: anyone hurting someone else, threatening tohurt someone, someone who hurt someone close to her, anyone who aimsa gun at her. She’s not a murderer, she won’t kill anyone she can’tjustify to the Alliance, but she’s more likely to shoot than delveinto negotiations.

Addysonkills because she has to. That’s it. If she even thinks there’s achance of talking her way out of something or being stealthy to avoidit altogether, she’ll take it. It took her a long time to get used tokilling other people, even in the line of duty.

Shepard Ask Meme

[citadelsushi]

N7 Helmet and Prothean relic for either or both of your Shepards? :)

Thank you for asking! And thanks for setting up this meme!

N7 helmet - Why did the character choose their current career (and class)? Do they believe it’s the right occupation for them?

        Avory joined the military because she wanted to improve her biotics and because she had nowhere else to go. She was Earthborn, so she grew up on the streets with the Reds; she couldn’t afford an amp and resorted to red sand to learn how to use her biotics and have them be useful for more than show, so getting an amp was the enlistment bonus she cared most about. Also, due to some serious problems within the Reds, Avory killed a man for the first time when she was sixteen. It was self defense, but it changed her in a way that she couldn’t quite move past. Part of her enjoyed it, putting someone down who deserved it, and that disturbed her. So, she figured she might as well join the Alliance so she could have a career that paid her to kill bad people.        She never considered a class other than vanguard, it’s just who she is as a person all around. Up close and personal, no bullshit, just get in and get it done.         Avory is extremely charismatic despite putting her foot in her mouth a lot, so she probably would have succeeded at any occupation she chose if her life had started off differently, but I think being in the navy suits her. Anything else would probably bore her.

        Addyson exists only in the canon divergent/AU fic I’m writing where biotics are considered second-class citizens. She was essentially born into the Alliance, as all biotics are required to enlist. She’s a vanguard by default because the Alliance focuses training on combat and only trains biotics in defensive powers. Otherwise, she would probably be an adept.       Despite the Alliance’s treatment of biotics, she always wanted to join up to serve and protect and go into space. Addyson wouldn’t have chosen any other occupation, even if she had the choice.

Prothean relic - How does the character feel towards other species? Do they believe that their own species is exceptional in some way?

        Avory trusts everyone about as far as she can throw them, regardless of species. She’s not particularly fond of the Hanar (she doesn’t care for the preaching), but she would never act discriminately toward one. She definitely doesn’t believe humans are exceptional in any way; as far as she’s concerned, every individual is iffy until they prove otherwise.

        Addyson’s universe only had contact with other species during and immediately after the First Contact War, so her scope is extremely limited. She holds prejudice against them because they are still very much aliens and so little is known about them, but she also can’t blame them for barring humans from any further space travel because, well, she knows exactly how terrible humans can be.

Mass Effect OC Asks

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter Ch. 5

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapters 1-4 found here.

Few words were spoken once aboard the shuttle. Jacob, the pilot, introduced himself to Shepard and Kaidan as they boarded, but his greeting was all but ignored.

Addyson had waited, her entire body made rigid by fearful anticipation, half expecting to be shot down as soon as they cleared the station. But Gagarin's defense systems didn't power on and the shuttle's scanners had showed no one in pursuit. Miraculously, it seemed they had escaped the station before anyone had been alerted to the bodies they had left behind in the hangar. Shepard wondered if luck or incompetence was to thank for their smooth departure.

Shepard hadn't even had the chance to ask where they were headed when Miranda announced they had arrived at their destination. She and Kaidan shared a puzzled look as the shuttle door opened and they realized they were inside a ship. A large ship. The docking bay to which they exited was more than spacious, even with stockpiles of cargo and two shuttles now parked inside.

Forest green eyes scanned over the bay before landing on Miranda, who was already on her way to the elevator at the far side of the dock.

“Whose ship is this?”

Miranda halted and turned on her heels, her striking features contorted into a look of irritation. “If you two would follow me, I will tell you.”

The Australian turned again and continued into the elevator, where she dramatically tapped her foot.

“Don't let me hit her.” Shepard muttered in Kaidan's direction.

                           Keep reading below or on AO3 or FF.net

The corners of his lips turned up into a small smirk, but faded quickly. He fell in at her side and they walked together to the elevator without another word. Addyson snuck a glance up at Alenko and felt her heart ache for him. Though he was trying to look at ease, she could see the muscle in his jaw keeping it clenched tight, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. She was sure Kaidan would explode if he didn't get answers soon.

“Lieutenant Shepard? Alenko?” Jacob appeared at her side, his arm outstretched. “I didn't get to introduce myself properly on the shuttle. Jacob Taylor, former Alliance.”

The man shook her hand, then reached across to shake Kaidan's. Shepard hadn't paid him much attention on their flight, but now her eyes passed over him in a swift, subjective sweep. Jacob was attractive, that much was certain; his skin was dark and his eyes were a deep, coffee brown. His frame was heavily muscled but lean, with broad shoulders and a tapered waist.

“Former?”

“Yeah, I left them a couple years ago. Didn't like the direction they were headed, you know?” Shepard breathed a cynical laugh; she knew all too well. “Don't worry about Miranda. She's not so bad once you get to know her.”

Shepard snorted, her eyes flitting to Kaidan's, intending to include him in her disbelief that Miranda could be anything but insufferable. His eyes, however, were trained on Jacob, narrowed in disapproval.

“We'll see about that.” Addyson answered absentmindedly, focusing her eyes forward again.

All four rode in the elevator, an air of mutual dislike surrounded them. It seemed Kaidan shared the same indifference for Jacob that Shepard did for Miranda, though she wasn't sure why. The man had barely said a word to them, and aside from supporting Miranda, had given her no reason to dislike him. Yet.

The elevator doors opened and Miranda stepped out. “Come with me. The Illusive Man wants to speak with you.”

Shepard's eyes narrowed. She wanted to ask who the hell The Illusive Man was, and why he gave himself such an egomaniacal title, but she knew Miranda wouldn't answer. Kaidan seemed to share her resignation because he stepped out in silence along with her, Jacob trailing them as they followed Miranda through the ship.

Whoever the Illusive Man is, he must be well funded.

The brief glances she caught of the ship had nearly made her jaw drop to the floor. It was beautifully designed; the CIC was expansive, the bridge stretched far enough she could barely make out the pilot's chair, and they passed through an impressive armory before entering a com room.

Jacob found a corner to lean against while Miranda keyed something into a console at the table in the center of the room, and it lowered into the floor. A holographic curtain surrounded Miranda as she stepped onto the new platform. Not wanting to be left out of the loop, Shepard followed her, as did Kaidan. The interface scanned each of their bodies from head to toe, and when it finished, they were no longer in the com room.

At least, it appeared that way. Before them was a large, mostly empty room, with sleek dark floors that seemed to extend out into space. The walls were transparent, looking out over the void; a massive dying star served as it's backdrop, it's molten surface constantly shifting color and design. In the center sat a man, his face mostly obscured by shadows, his legs crossed, a drink in one hand and a cigarette raised to his lips in the other.

“Miranda.” He exhaled her name on a cloud of smoke. “Lieutenant Shepard, Lieutenant Alenko. You two look a little underdressed.”

“Illusive Man.” Miranda greeted him warmly.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring his remark about their attire, or lack thereof. “I thought we'd be meeting in person.”

“A necessary precaution. Not unusual for people who know what you and I know.” The dark haired man sipped from his glass.

“What is it that you know, exactly?” Kaidan stepped forward, his arms folded across his chest just as firmly as her own.

“Ah, Lieutenant Alenko.” The Illusive Man inhaled deeply on his cigarette. “I admit, I didn't expect to see you. My sources tell me you were already taken into custody on Gagarin.”

Shepard felt Kaidan tense beside her, an unseen flare of his biotics tingled against her skin, inciting hers to respond in kind. Whoever this mysterious figure was, he had to have people hidden among the staff on Jump Zero. How else could he have known that Alenko had been locked up?

“Cut the bullshit,” Shepard dropped her arms to her sides, “who are you?”

The man rose and stepped toward their holographic forms. Now, Shepard could see his face in full. His dark hair was streaked with grey, and his face wore heavy wrinkles around his eyes and mouth that matched his grim expression. What stood out most, however, were his eyes. They shone eerily with artificial blue light, with what looked like cybernetics glowing in his irises. They were haunting.

“Who I am is irrelevant, in the grand scheme of things.” Again, he took a drag on his cigarette. “All you need to know is that Captain Anderson trusted me to help you, Shepard.”

Shepard shook her head, “I'm gonna need more than that if we're going to work with you.”

“I have humanity's best interest at heart, Shepard. Director Udina thinks that biotics are undermining our success as a species, I believe you are our future.”

“So we're just supposed to believe you're some billionaire philanthropist with a soft spot for biotics?” Kaidan pointed an accusatory finger at the man, “What are you getting from this?”

“This isn't about me, it's about our future! Udina is holding us back! What he has planned is going to cause irreparable damage to our species!” The Illusive Man turned his back to them and took a long drag of his cigarette, chasing it with a sip of liquor before turning back to them. “Believe whatever you want, Alenko. The fact is, I'm your only hope of putting an end to Director Udina's plans.”

Shepard's eyes didn't leave the Illusive Man, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Kaidan rock back on his heels, easing up as he mulled it over. Kaidan was right; everything about this man made her uneasy. He was secretive, short-fused, and clearly connected enough to be well informed. Still, the Illusive Man had a point; they needed his resources if they were going to put an end to this. Anderson was working the inside, but they needed more than information to succeed. They needed guns, armor, more people, a ship. All of which this man seemed more than willing to provide.

Whatever his motivations, she would have to take that risk.

“What exactly are you expecting?”

“My expectations are aligned with Captain Anderson's. Find the crew he asked you to recruit, expose Udina, and bring his plans to a halt before the Alliance exterminates you all.” The Illusive Man breathed smoke. “I'm giving you the resources. The rest is up to you.”

The Illusive Man returned to his chair, taking another swig from his glass before disconnecting the call. The hologram dissipated and they were back in the com room, Jacob still looking on from the corner of the room.

“No doubt you both have a lot of questions.” Miranda stepped off the platform.

Kaidan snorted as he stepped down as well. “You could say that.”

Shepard pressed her palm to her forehead scrubbing it over her face and closing her eyes. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, she was feeling the effects of not eating and using her biotics so heavily. “How long are we going to be on this ship?”

“A couple hours, tops.” Jacob spoke up.

She raised an eyebrow in Miranda's direction. Standard ships could get to Jump Zero from Earth in a matter of minutes, and this ship seemed a grade above standard.

“The Normandy is more technologically advanced than any ship manufactured by the Alliance. It is equipped with a stealth system that will allow us to drift for hours undetected. Once we're sure the Alliance isn't aware we're here, we'll land at one of Cerberus's facilities on Earth.”

Cerberus?

Air emptied her lungs in a rush as Shepard sighed and pushed her fingers back through her hair. Hunger was gnawing at her and it was beginning to feel like her mind was floating, the room spinning faintly around her. At this point, she just needed some food. Maybe some pants. If they were going to be on this ship a while, questions could wait.

“Right. I'm assuming this ship has a med bay?” Addyson glanced to Miranda, who nodded in the affirmative, then to Kaidan. “Alenko, you should really go see the doctor on board.”

Amber eyes clouded with frustration stared back at her, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Shepard cut him off.

“See the doctor, get a change of clothes, and find me after.”

Though they were the same rank, Alenko recognized an order when he heard one, and he managed to choke back his argument. “Aye aye, ma'am.”

“Lieutenant Alenko, the med bay is on deck three and we've arranged for you to stay in the starboard lounge.” Miranda offered. “You'll find suitable clothing there.”

Alenko offered a short, but polite, thank you to Miranda, but his eyes stayed locked on Shepard's. The intensity she found there was startling; he was angry, and that anger was boring into her soul.

Addyson refused to look away. “And me?”

“Shepard, you'll be in the loft. Deck one.” Jacob answered her question and another flash of anger flickered across Alenko's eyes.

“Great. Alenko, come up when you're done with the doc.”

Frustration overtook her and Shepard strode from the room. After finding Alenko crumpled on the floor, following Lawson blindly onto a strange ship, and finding that the ship apparently belonged to a ghost of a man who headed an organization called Cerberus, Shepard had about reached her daily limit for bullshit. The resentful look Alenko had just stared her down with was the last thing she had wanted to see.

Footsteps echoed behind her, but she didn't stop; she pushed through the armory and ignored the numerous looks she received in the CIC, focusing on getting to the elevator before whoever was following could catch up with her.

The doors hissed shut just as Alenko appeared in front of her.

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapter One found here.

Chapter Two.

Kaidan tossed in his bed. He didn't remember them being so uncomfortable when he had been here for BAaT, but he had been younger then, with fewer battle scars and a sense of adventure that would have made sleeping on a sack of rocks sound like fun. Now, he was just annoyed. Annoyed by the paper thin mattress, by the scratchy pair of sweatpants the Alliance had provided, and by the fact that he had been stuck on Gagarin for two days.

Two days.

He had been assigned a room with two bunks and three other men, all of them civilians. They had been asking him for information since they met, but he had none to give. The Alliance officers on duty were sticking to their story that there was mechanical malfunction and told him they would report once they received an update. Kaidan had yet to receive any responses to the messages he'd sent out on his omni-tool.

“Attention: bunks 1-50 and 200-250 please report for breakfast.”

Another annoyance. Announcements ordering various bunks to and from meals were almost constant.

Kaidan groaned to himself as he rose from his bed and stretched, muscles aching from a restless sleep. He slipped on his shirt and shoes and excused himself, eager to steal a few moments of privacy.

Try as he might to keep a level head, Kaidan couldn't stop the uncertainty building within him. Since the lockdown, he had been keeping a watchful eye. No one else seemed to be paying attention, but he noticed as more and more soldiers in Alliance dress arrived to the station. They trickled in and always changed stations, so people wouldn't notice the new faces. He noticed how the officers antagonized the civilians for no reason. He noticed that no two bunk sections had eaten together more than once.

Shepard's words echoed in the back of his mind, her warning tone haunting him. They're going to dispose of us. The conviction in her voice had been strong enough to shake him. It won't be that painless.

He hadn't seen her since the day they arrived, when she disappeared into the sea of people and left him standing alone like a blubbering idiot as dozens of concerned citizens swarmed him. So many questions, too few answers.

Keep reading below or on FF.net or AO3, if you prefer.

If he were being honest, he was also disappointed with his first meeting with Addyson Shepard.

He had seen her before, around Alliance headquarters and usually in tow behind Captain David Anderson. Kaidan didn't know the Captain well, but he knew his reputation. Anderson was the first to graduate the Interplanetary Combatives Training program, one of the most decorated special forces operatives in the Alliance, and had served with honors in the First Contact War. Now, he worked closely with Director Udina as his military right-hand.

Simply working with Anderson spoke volumes about her capabilities as a soldier, but to work directly beneath him indicated she was skilled at more than just combat. Kaidan wondered just how skilled she was.

The biotic spark between them when they shook hands wasn't something he had experienced before. It had to mean she was as strong as he was, if not stronger. Shepard was one of few biotics to reach lieutenant, after all, a rank not easily achieved.

Part of him had been curious about her since the first time he saw her. At the time, he hadn't known she was Alliance; all Kaidan had seen was a stunning woman with wild crimson hair in casual dress having lunch with Captain Anderson. When he had seen her later, dressed in fatigues and her red mane twisted into a regulation bun, he had been more than a little surprised. The shock didn't arise from the fact that she was a soldier so much as the abnormally casual relationship she shared with her superior. Kaidan had been intrigued, and a little embarrassed to admit that he had kept an eye out for opportunities to speak with her. Unfortunately, one hadn't presented itself until she approached him on Gagarin.

As he reached the mess hall, Kaidan found himself scanning the crowd, hoping he would see her again.

“Hey.”

A petite hand landed briefly on his shoulder, startling him a bit, and he turned around to find Shepard looking up at him. Gone were the personal clothes she had arrived in, replaced by the same rough pair of grey sweats and white t-shit he wore. Both items of clothing hung loosely off her frame; she had rolled the waistband of the sweats multiple times over and they still covered her feet. The skin under her eyes sagged and her hair was tossed into a messy knot atop her head; she looked like she had been sleeping as well as he had.

“Hey, Shepard.” Kaidan offered a smile, hoping that this conversation would be better than the last.

After the events of the last couple days, he had a lot of questions. He wasn't dense; it was clear that whatever was happening here wasn't routine, but the idea of the Alliance deciding to rid of all biotics in a mass murder was ludicrous.

Kaidan had mulled it over endlessly and figured, more than likely, the Alliance had discovered something wrong with their implants or some illness only biotics were exhibiting, and needed to keep them isolated for safety until the problem could be fixed. It wasn't a perfect explanation, but it made a hell of a lot more sense than genocide.

“Come sit with me when you get your rations.”

Kaidan nodded and watched her find an empty table in the far corner of the mess. After several minutes in line, he followed her path. He took a seat across from her and started eating. Despite the cardboard taste, he was eager to fill his stomach. With travel from the station suspended indefinitely, they were receiving restricted portions of food, much smaller than he was used to. Low calorie intake didn't sit well with biotics.

“You want to finish mine?” Shepard pushed her tray in his direction. “I'm not in the mood for this garbage.”

A laugh escaped his lips. “Are you always so grumpy, Shepard?”

“You want it or not?”

Kaidan eyed her tray. She had barely eaten half. He didn't want to take food from her, but his mouth watered and his stomach growled angrily. “If you're sure...”

She nudged her tray toward him again, insisting.

“Thanks.” Kaidan shuffled the contents of her tray onto his own and paused, meeting her intense green gaze. “Can I ask you something?”

Shepard's eyes lit up with something he didn't quite recognize, “Shoot.”

“Why don't you trust the Alliance?”

The light in her eyes dimmed and Kaidan glanced down at his meal, shoveling another forkful into his mouth. Already, he felt like this conversation would take the same turn as the last. He didn't want to argue with her; if she wanted to be cynical, that was her right, but he couldn't understand why she wanted to convince him to share the same asinine beliefs.

“I don't trust the people in charge of the Alliance.” Shepard eyed him cautiously. “You shouldn't either.”

Kaidan scrubbed a hand over his face. “Can you drop the cryptic shit and be straight with me, Shepard?”

When he looked back at her, Shepard's eyes were focused elsewhere. God, is she even listening to me?

“Shepard?” he raised his voice.

A directional nod was the only answer he received.

Kaidan turned in his seat to see that several officers were making their way through mess hall, spreading out and stopping at each table. At the front of the mess one officer was standing at rest while a man, dressed in the same grey and white garb, was turning red in the face and shouting at him. The biotic stood from his table and jabbed a finger at the officer's chest.

The officer didn't hesitate. He grabbed the biotic's arm and twisted it behind his back, forcing the man to his knees. Kaidan's jaw fell slack as the officer proceeded to unholster his pistol and use the butt of the gun to strike the man on the back of the head, dropping the man to the floor on his stomach.

“What the hell?” Kaidan started to rise, but a jolt of energy against his flesh as Shepard's hand fell on his  made him sit back down.

“Not yet.”

Tension tightened in his chest and he swallowed hard. The officer bent down, reaching for the man's amp. Kaidan felt a ripple of nervous energy move through the mess as the entire hall watched the officer remove the amp from the man's port, making no effort to be gentle. The man on the ground grunted in pain and a collective gasp emanated from the masses. Anger struck Kaidan like lightning.

Removing a biotic's amp as a means of restraint was supposed to be a last resort, only to be done if the biotic posed a threat to life. Ports were an extremely sensitive area for all biotics and could cause serious pain if not handled correctly. It was an incredibly intimate gesture to let another person touch the area at the base of the skull where the port opened; the thought of letting a stranger near the area made Kaidan almost queasy. And to remove a biotic's amp as roughly as the officer just had was nothing short of cruel.

Shepard must have felt his temper flare because she gave his hand a firm squeeze, trying to regain his attention, but Kaidan couldn't pull his eyes from the scene. The man didn't move from the ground. Everyone seated at the table hurriedly began unplugging their own amps and handed them to the officer, who held his hands out expectantly. Then their omni-tools. Just as quickly, the several other tables with officers standing at the head followed suite.

“Kaidan?”

The softness in her voice was enough to break his daze, and when he turned to face her he found sympathetic eyes staring back at him. Absentmindedly, he wondered if she was afraid; up until this moment, she had been unflinchingly cool. He flipped his palm upward and took her hand in his, trying to offer her some comfort as his mind buzzed. Conflicting thoughts tore through his brain.

Kaidan had been with the Alliance since he was seventeen, when he arrived at Jump Zero for BAaT. His father had been an Alliance soldier, as had his father before him. It was a part of him. At his very core, he was a soldier, striving to do some good in the world, make his father proud, and prove that biotics could be every bit as valuable to the force as non-powered humans. The Alliance and Director Udina had always treated him with respect and he was proud of the life he had built serving humanity.

Though he had to admit, the longer he was on Jump Zero, the more a nagging feeling told him something wasn't right. Witnessing a fellow marine abuse his authority only made that feeling grow stronger. Shepard's conspiracy theories rushed to the forefront of his mind. She hadn't been the only person to mention biotic extermination to him, but she was the only one with merit who believed the rumors. Was there writing on the wall here that he just wasn't seeing?

Shepard squeezed his fingers, her nails bit into his skin, her voice regained it's edge. “I need you to not do anything stupid, Alenko.”

A painful cry came from a woman only a few tables away, drawing Kaidan's attention away from his thoughts and away from Shepard. He watched, mouth agape, as a different officer repeated the same brutality as the one before; he forced the woman to the ground and roughly removed her amp, his mouth stretched into a sickening grin when the woman yelped in pain. Kaidan tensed, every muscle made taught with rage. When the officer delivered a swift kick to the defenseless woman's ribs, he could no longer contain himself.

He heard Shepard curse under her breath as he broke their contact and rose from the table, but he ignored her. He strode authoritatively across the mess to where the woman lied on the floor, curled in on herself and whimpering. Kaidan shouldered passed the marine and bent down beside the woman.

“Are you alright, ma'am?”

The woman peered up at him through tearful eyes and tentatively allowed him to help her to her feet. Kaidan seated her at her table where the folks she had been sitting with immediately gathered her into their arms.

Alenko whirled on the soldier, “What in the hell do you think you're doing, private?”

Brilliant blue energy cloaked his body as Kaidan's biotics flared. Other soldiers moved into his peripheral vision, pistols drawn and cautiously closing in to surround him. From behind him he could hear Shepard cursing him, ordering him to stand down. Blood thudded wildly in his ears, adrenaline coursed through his veins. His thoughts a mess of Alliance oaths and Shepard's blasphemy.

“Sir, we're going to need you to calm down.” One of the soldiers dared speak. “Stand down and hand over your amp and your omni-tool.”

“Like hell.” Kaidan spat, ignoring Shepard as she cursed again behind him. “Alliance Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. I'd like to see your commanding officer. Now.”

Somewhere, another soldier chuckled darkly. Kaidan turned his attention to an older, grizzled soldier who stepped toward him, his gun in hand but lowered.

“We know who you are, but your rank means nothing here, Alenko.”

Enough with the ambiguity!

Kaidan seethed and lifted his arm, ready to capture the man in a stasis just so he would shut up, but a feminine yelp distracted him. His head snapped to the side, where the young woman who he had just picked up off the floor was now held around the throat by the soldier who had assaulted her, his pistol to her head.

His world shattered around him. Kaidan almost felt the need to pinch himself. Was this really happening? How was it possible that a fellow marine was holding a hostage? None of this made any sense.

The woman in the soldier's arms stared at him, her eyes wide and pleading, frightened tears spilling forth. Even from a distance, he could see her body trembling. Kaidan clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Five pistols were trained on his person. Even if he was able to throw up a barrier, he had no armor and no backup, and there was no guarantee he could subdue the man disgracing the Alliance uniform before he harmed his hostage.

Dazed, Kaidan inhaled deeply and forced himself to cool off. Cerulean flames faded away, the unspent energy making his nerves tingle. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the mess on him and he swore he could feel the collective breath everyone was holding as they waited for his next move.

Kaidan swallowed his pride, nearly choking on his reservations, and slowly raised his hands to the back of his head. He removed the amp and closed his port, and extended it toward the grizzled soldier. Rage burned deep in his core as the man glared at him, a sinister triumphant grin spread across his aged face.

Pain mushroomed at the back of his skull suddenly and Kaidan dropped to his knees, his amp and omni-tool sent skittering across the floor. Another strike and darkness bloomed at the edge of his vision, leaching aggressively forward before pulling him under. The last thing he heard before falling unconscious was Shepard, still cursing his name.

[citadelsushi]

Mind Over Matter

A canon divergent fic. Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina plans to use the Alliance to rid Earth of biotics, who are viewed as alien in their own right. Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back. Of course, help from The Illusive Man always comes with strings attached.

Chapters one and two found here.

Chapter Three.

Life seemed to move in slow motion as the realization that Alenko had gone down swept through the crowd; humanity's biotic idol had tried and failed to protect his people from the very institution he stood for. She could feel the electricity in the air, thrumming through her as the mess hall processed the event.

Instinct brought up a barrier around Shepard.

Her heart raced.

Her palms began to sweat.

Pandemonium ensued.

A battle cry sounded at the rear of the mess and the tables of biotic who still had their amps charged at the soldiers, a wave of blue crashing down on the marines. The marines responded with gun fire. Barriers shattered and biotics dropped. Shepard heard the soldier nearest to her radio for backup.

She hadn't expected this to start so soon, but it didn't matter. What mattered now was staying alive and making sure Alenko stayed that way too.

Keep reading below or on FF.net or AO3.

Soldiers blocked her path as she tried to push through the circle they had formed around his unconscious body.

“Get him out of here!” A soldier shouted and his comrades turned their attention to Kaidan.

One arm carried by each of the marines, they dragged him unceremoniously toward the front of the mess.

Shepard followed. Behind her gunshots continued, reverberating through the mess like thunder. Screams pierced her ears as more biotics fell. She didn't dare look back. Before her, biotics who had already had their amps taken from them had huddled together. They clung to one another, cowering behind tables and crying, praying to whatever gods they believed in to keep them safe.

Ignore it.

Her nails dug painfully into the skin of her palms as another chorus of cries followed a round of gun fire. Every biotic shot behind her meant another second she went unnoticed. They were unknowingly buying her time with their lives while she willfully ignored them. She still had her amp, she could help. In a matter of minutes, she could take out every soldier in the mess. But she didn't.

Anderson had made his orders clear. Get Alenko off the station alive.

Jaw clenched, Shepard persevered.

“Shit!”

Backup had arrived, and it had arrived in strength. Addyson estimated fifty marines, all in full armor and weapons drawn, rounding the corner to the entrance of the mess hall. Rapidly, she scanned the area for cover. Several groups of biotics were hysterical now, having seen the reinforcements headed their way. Shepard eyed them all; only one group was in position to have a decent view of the hallway leaving the mess hall. Guilt constricted around her throat. She couldn't help them all.

Won't. Won't help them all.

A voice in the back of her mind corrected her, and she forced her nails harder into her palms, letting the pain distract her. Shepard dove, rolling into cover with the group that held the best position and encasing them all in her barrier just as the incoming marines opened fire.

A nightmare unfolded before her eyes.

Bloodshed erupted in the mess, a crimson mist formed over the masses as bodies were torn apart by the barrage. Bile rose in her throat. Screams filled her ears. A cold sweat broke over her brow.

She watched as the groups of biotics she had shunned for a tactical position caught sight of her barrier. They moved too fast, trying to get to her for protection. A marine turned his attention on them and fired, dropping two of them immediately into a pile of gore. The remaining stopped, wailing, their arms reaching out to the bodies of those they had just lost.

Shepard watched as biotics stopped fighting. They fell to their knees amidst pools of blood. Some clung to fallen bodies, their anguished cries over loved ones wrenching her gut. Some raised their arms in surrender, their eyes staring into the distance, unseeing. Some stared at her, their faces twisted in hostility.

She couldn't bare anymore. Shepard tore her eyes from the massacre and found Kaidan, his legs still dragging behind him as his escorts turned toward the officer's hall. She glanced at the people beside her; alive, uninjured, but scarred nontheless.

“You!” A soldier had finally noticed their group. “Take down that barrier. Now!”

Three marines formed a half circle around them. Shepard knew they could take down her defense with one shot; she had been holding a barrier for too long, and she was low on calories. She also knew that she could still manage to send the energy toward them and knock them all on their asses.

“Holster your weapons and I will.”

Silence stretched on too long. Shepard waited, expecting at any moment for her barrier to shatter, staring down the barrel of the soldier's rifle..

Then, much to her surprise, the commanding marine agreed. He slipped his rifle into place behind his back and the other two followed in kind.

It was all she could do to not breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Shepard held up her end of the deal and lowered her barrier. She rose to her feet; her knees wobbled, but she locked them, determined not to show weakness.

“Remove your amp, biotic, or I will do it for you.”

Shepard was in no position to argue. Her eyes drifted passed the man standing before her, scanning over the crowd. The majority of the forces had begun separating the biotics for transport back to their bunks. A select few, she noticed, were wading through the sea of bodies and plucking young men and women from the herd. Her eyebrows narrowed as she watched the officers force their selections from the mess and down the hall toward the officer's bunks. The same area to which Kaidan had been taken.

“I said remove your amp!”

SMACK. The soldier's knuckles connected with her cheek bone. She stumbled backward, her hand raising instinctively to cover the stinging patch of flesh. Rage boiled her blood as she righted herself.

“Please.” Addyson hissed a correction.

Unamused, the soldier struck her again, but grabbed her by the arm forcefully to prevent her from reeling backward. Iron leaked into her mouth and her lip stung. Shepard didn't resist as the man twisted her arm behind her back and kicked at the back of her knees, forcing her legs to buckle. His hand found her amp port then, and he carelessly removed her amp. She winced as she felt him close her port, relieved somewhat that he hadn't intentionally hurt her.

Her relief was short lived. The heel of his hand connected with her port, sending a jolt of agony through her entire body. Half a yell was torn from her throat before she was able to clamp down on it. A wave of nausea followed the pain. Multicolored spots formed in her vision, twinkling rapidly at her and doing little to help her contain the vomit that stung the back of her throat.

“Get up.”

The soldier still held her arm, and he yanked her to her feet. The other two soldiers tended to the biotics she had sheltered while the man at her arm pushed her forward. Shepard swallowed her vomit and allowed herself to be led, leaning on the soldier for support despite herself. She drifted toward the officer's bunk hall, expecting to be taken that way, but was jerked in the opposite direction.

Relief washed over her as they reached her bunk. The officer pushed her inside and shut the door behind her. Shepard staggered to her cot and collapsed to her side, spent. She needed food. She needed sleep. She needed vengeance. And she doubted any of those things would come soon.

Still, Addyson inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She needed to regroup, to plan her next move.

No sooner than she saw the backs of her eyelids, however, did they shoot back open. The door thudded open suddenly and Shepard pushed herself up to face the intruders.

A soldier gruffly pushed a dark haired woman Shepard didn't recognize inside the room, then wordlessly shut the door.

“Bastard could've been a little less committed.” Her accent was thick and elegant, even as she muttered to herself, but Shepard couldn't place it.

She had a terrible ear for accents.

The woman straightened her t-shirt and smoothed her raven hair as she glanced around the room.

“What a piss hole.” Startling blue eyes landed on hers. “Good thing we won't be here long.”

A weak smile tugged at the corners of Shepard's lips. Finally, a fucking break. Anderson had spoke of an Australian biotic who would approach Shepard once she was at Jump Zero, but hadn't given her much else to go on. Clearly, Anderson knew that this recruit would be easy to pick out from the crowd.

Beautiful was an understatement, the woman was stunning, and the way she held herself made it obvious she was well aware of it. Confidence radiated off of her like heat from the sun. Shepard wondered if it was styling or ego that kept her hair coiffed.

“Lieutenant Shepard?”

“Miranda Lawson?”

Addyson extended her hand, but Miranda ignored it; she remained at the door, leaning against it, her arms folded across her chest, her legs crossed at the ankles.

“Have you made contact with Lieutenant Alenko? Is he aware of the plan?”

Irritation stemmed from the woman's rudeness and any trace of a smile disappeared from Shepard's lips. Addyson knew nothing about this woman other than her name, but she assumed she wasn't Alliance. She carried an air of military training, but lacked the mutual respect of a marine. Addyson was already worn, and the way Lawson was looking at her, like Shepard was under her command, immediately irked her.

“Alenko was hauled to isolation.”

“Isolation?” Miranda scowled, her perfectly manicured eyebrows knitting together. “Bloody hell, Shepard. Your orders were to -”

“I know what Anderson's orders are.” Shepard shared a scowl of her own. “Alenko tried to protect someone. He wouldn't listen to me. If I had jumped in, I would've been locked up too.”

“Right.” Miranda sighed. “Well then, we'll just have to move forward without him.”

Shepard's eyes widened in disbelief. Who the fuck does this woman think she is? Even if Anderson hadn't explicitly ordered Shepard to make sure Alenko made it off Jump Zero alive, Addyson wouldn't leave him behind. He may be a stubborn, naive fool, but he was also an incredible soldier and anyone with half a brain had to see how his public status would benefit their effort.

“We're not leaving him.” Shepard swung her legs over the side of her cot and rose, ignoring the way the room spun around her. She crossed her arms, defiant.

Miranda frowned. “Shepard, I don't have time for-”

“We're not leaving him.”

Tension thick enough to cut filled the room as the two stared each other down. No way in hell would Addyson back down for this stranger. Worn down as she was, she didn't care. If she had to go it alone to get Alenko, she would.

“Do you know what they're likely doing to him right now? By the time we get to him, he won't be in any condition to fight and we-”

“We will have to fight harder.”

Addyson had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning. Lawson looked absolutely livid that Shepard had cut her off again.

“I will not be the one carrying him out of here.” Miranda pushed herself off the door, coming nose to nose with Shepard. “And I will leave both of you behind if you slow me down.”

[citadelsushi]

AU: Mind Over Matter

Human kind is left scared and angry after The Council bans them from further space travel after the First Contact War. Director Udina, convinced biotics are alien in their own right and a danger to humanity, plans to use the Alliance to rid humanity of biotics.

Cerberus has other plans for their abilities and is more than happy to provide Shepard the resources she needs to build a team and fight back, but the Illusive Man's help comes with it's own set of problems.

Watching him interact with the crowd, it was clear to Shepard why Kaidan Alenko had been chosen as the face of the Alliance Biotic Division, and by extension, all biotics. The man was remarkably handsome, and he exuded a kind of easygoing, disarming confidence that made him approachable. Wave after wave of citizens flocked to him instinctively, finding comfort in a familiar face. The way his eyes seemed to sag in exhaustion between each conversation suggested he wasn't entirely at ease with the amount of people surrounding him, but Alenko was doing an exceptional job keeping up the charade.

Shepard could just barely make out his words over the hum of the crowd, regurgitating the same vague misinformation that had gathered them all here. A flicker of doubt crossed her mind as he repeated the inaccuracies to their fellow biotics.

Like Shepard, Alenko was born and raised an Alliance soldier; unlike Shepard, Alenko seemed to whole heartedly believe the webs of fiction spun by Director Udina. Whether it was a blind loyalty to the Alliance or some deep-seated hope that allowed him to be so oblivious, Shepard couldn't be sure. It didn't really matter. Somehow, she had to convince the Alliance's biotic poster-child that everything he believed was a lie.

Keep reading below or on FF.net or AO3

A small group began exchanging appreciative goodbyes with Alenko and Shepard made her move. She rose from the metal table at which she had been seated and smoothly navigated the throngs of people, arriving just as the group took their leave from her target.

Shepard feigned coy, smiling as she brushed her fingers through her dark copper locks before extending her open hand to the soldier.

“Lieutenant Addyson Shepard.”

A cerulean spark jumped between their hands as they shook that took Shepard by surprise. Based on the subtle widening of his eyes, it had caught him off guard as well. Static discharge was common for biotics, though typically when touching metal. To jolt when touching another biotic wasn't unheard of, but it wasn't commonplace.

Must be stronger than he looks, Shepard mused.

“Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.”  Chestnut eyes met her gaze, bright with genuine enthusiasm.

Their hands remained clasped for a second longer than necessary.

Shepard's timid smile stretched into a grin as she chuckled. “I think everyone here knows who you are, Alenko.”

A faint blush crept across his cheeks and he glanced at the ground briefly, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I uh, I guess you're right.”

Shepard fought to hide her disbelief. No way this guy could be that humble; he had reached the highest ranking given to biotics in record time, he was a decorated soldier, headed a squad of biotic support troops, and occasionally held classes for low-level biotics on Jump Zero. Every positive news story on biotics involved Alenko. There wasn't a single biotic who didn't know his name. He was what they all were supposed to aspire to; a loyal soldier who didn't question orders.

Again, she found herself doubting involving him, but Shepard pushed the thoughts from her mind and continued to play nice. She needed allies, and Captain Anderson had put Alenko's name at the top of a very short recruitment list.

“You're kind of a big deal.” She shot him a teasing grin, wondering when his ego would appear.

“Me?” Kaidan chuckled, brushing her off, “You're one to talk, Shepard. You're Captain Anderson's protege, aren't you?”

Shepard's kelly green eyes narrowed slightly, unsure how he knew who she was. “I'm not sure I'd call myself his protege, but yeah, I work closely with Anderson.”

Alenko gazed down at her, a smile stretching across his lips. “Don't be modest, Lieutenant. I've heard he's grooming you for command.”

Shepard scoffed, which earned her a raised brow from Kaidan. Shit. She hadn't meant to expose herself so soon, but his naive positivity had gotten the best of her. She searched his expression for any sign of malice, but all she found was curiosity, as best she could tell.

“Come on, Alenko, you don't believe the Alliance would ever allow a biotic to command a ship.”

Apparently, Alenko truly did believe it, because he looked as though she had just spit in his cereal.

“Sure I do.” His smile faded slightly. “Our abilities may scare some people now, but it's human nature to be afraid of change at first. They'll come around.”

Some people. At first. Shepard felt an eyebrow raise incredulously. “You don't take much shore leave, do you Lieutenant?”

Alenko stiffened and Shepard chided herself. This was no way to gain an ally, but she couldn't help it.

Humanities first experience with biotics was during The First Contact war, when a task force of biotic Turians took Shanxi. Hundreds lost their lives in the war, and billions were horrified to learn other species existed. Let alone species that didn't hesitate to open fire on humanity and that could alter the mass of space with their body to use it as a weapon.

Human biotics were discovered only a year later. At first, most people believed it was something the aliens had done to them. Some probably still believed that, even though the Alliance had quickly traced the condition to Element Zero exposure. They tracked down every kid whose mother had been exposed during pregnancy. Parents were told their kids had the potential to be incredibly dangerous to themselves and to others if they didn't receive help. Help that only the Alliance could provide.

Kids as young as ten were sent to Jump Zero for schooling. Those whose parents didn't send them voluntarily at that time were drafted at 17, isolated from their families and forced to live in space until they graduated Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. They were then given a choice: enlist and serve the Alliance, or take their chances back on Earth.

Biotics who returned to Earth were treated like freaks. Regulations required them to identify themselves as biotics when applying for housing, for jobs, or for schools. It was nearly impossible for a biotic to live a normal life on Earth. Normal people saw them as a threat. They served as a constant reminder of how the alien species had blamed humans for the First Contact War, how humanity had been banned from any further space travel with the threat of war with the Council races if they dared disobey.

Biotics were constantly harassed by normals, and violence against them was disturbingly frequent. At least once a week, a biotic was assaulted, beaten, or murdered. Officially, the acts were condemned, but the attackers never received more than a slap on the wrist.

“Sorry,” Shepard worked to soften her expression, “I'm just having a hard time believing they want us all here for a routine amp check.”

Much to her surprise, Alenko nodded in agreement. “It is a bit much, having everyone here at once.”

Shepard nodded and they both surveyed the room. Once a year, all biotics had to report to Jump Zero for mandatory amp checks. The Alliance placed serious restrictions on the use of their powers and wetware. Offensive moves were strictly forbidden and amps that provided a power boost were only provided to soldiers in battle. Amps that boosted strength were available to civilians, if they knew where to look, but being caught with one was essentially a death sentence.

Usually, amp checks were done throughout the year so that only a few hundred had to travel to the station at a time. This time, the Alliance had called everyone at once. There were thousands packed into the station, impatiently awaiting further instruction.

“Have you heard the rumors?” Shepard watched him carefully, desperately hoping she would see some sign of apprehension in his eyes.

There was none. “I've been hearing them all day.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes squinting closed. “Don't tell me you're buying into them?”

“I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.”

Her gaze was unwavering when his eyes met hers again. He looked fed up, and with good reason if he'd been dealing with all these people for hours, but from what Shepard could tell there wasn't an ounce of mistrust within him.

Does he think this was some sort of bureaucratic fuck up?He can't be this dumb.

“The Alliance is going to blow us all up because we glow blue sometimes?”

Shepard huffed a laugh and crossed her arms over her chest, cocking her hip to the side. “It's not the Alliance, it's Udina. And they're not going to blow us up, Alenko. It won't be that painless.” He stared down at her, clearly unbelieving, but curious nonetheless. “We're lab rats. They're going to run experiments on us, use us up until nothing is left, and then they're going to dispose of us.”

“What the hell, Shepard?” Alenko's eyes widened, bewildered. “You're an Alliance lieutenant, how could you say that?”

“It's because I'm a lieutenant that I can say that.” she shot back.

Kaidan shook his head, as if he was shaking her off as well. “So all of humanity is going to let Udina murder us because we glow blue sometimes?”

Shepard simply nodded, her eyes trained on his as she watched a storm of emotion rage across his face.

“And you came up here anyway?” Alenko scoffed and crossed his arms. “Right. That makes perfect sense.”

At that moment, Shepard wished more than anything that she had the ability to slap some sense into him. Unfortunately, she did not, and she knew hitting him would only put the final nail in the crazy coffin he'd already placed her in.

Shepard straightened and raked her fingers through her hair, sighing quietly to herself. “Look, Alenko, things-”

“Attention,” A faceless voice sounded throughout the station, “we are experiencing mechanical complications with the docking stations. We regret to inform you that travel to and from Gagarin Station has been suspended indefinitely. We will be providing rooms and fresh clothing for all. Please report to the nearest Officer's Desk for room assignments. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

Both lieutenants scanned the room, watching as nervous faces began scurrying about, whispering rumors and reassurances to one another.

There were so many people here. So many who had no idea what was to come. So many lives about to be destroyed. Even with Anderson's heads up, Shepard wasn't ready for this. Fear gripped her heart and her stomach flipped in her abdomen.

She turned to Alenko, who looked lost as he looked out over the sea of people, and gripped his forearm hard. Startled chestnut eyes met hers.  “Alenko, listen to me, don't try to be a hero. Find me when you can.”